Random Thoughts December 2020 Edition

I was going to write this post yesterday, but then something unexpected happened.  Looking out the front window my Dad said something looked wrong with my car, which I have to park on the street.  I quickly put on shoes and ran outside, and it was pretty bad.  The front of the car scrapped up, hole next to the headlight, on the sidewalk a crinkled license plate, and tire marks on the grass.  No note anywhere.  Looks like my car was involved in a hit and run with a drunk person.  And I learned something new last night: My insurance doesn't cover hit and runs.  My brother Michael came over and said it should be safe to drive, though I'll need to get the alignment and such checked out.  So, yup...

Though, I was super close to throwing in the towel with my miles this year.  I needed 5 miles last night to stay on track, and I was just kinda being miserable on the couch.  But I got up and forced myself and did 6.11 miles for extra measure.  About 20 miles to go.

It's fun watching the kiddos grow up and see their personalities come out.  My three year old niece is proving to be quite precocious.  On Christmas Eve there was a broadcast of Ballet West's, the Ballet company from SLC, Nutcracker.  Everyone was gathered upstairs and eating.  I was waiting for a dance to finish before joining them.  Then, out of nowhere, I hear, "Sarah!  Come up and get some dinner!"  It was my niece.  I came up and asked if anyone told her to say that, and no one did.  She looked around, saw I was missing, and made the decision to do something about it.  She then told me my hair was getting long.  I asked her if I should cut it, and she said I should.  :\  

We took this particular niece to Disneyland when she was one years old, and every time she was in her stroller I would see her head pop out to look at my Mom and I.  She was making sure we were all together and no one was getting left behind.  And earlier this year, when she was still two, she said she really wanted to go to Disneyland, but knew we couldn't because of all the sick people.  Wise beyond her years.  That's spiritual premortal stuff.  Makes me wonder what she was like in Heaven.

Saw Wonder Woman 1984 last weekend.  Didn't like it.  Plenty of people have been berating the movie online, so I don't have to go into what has already been said.  Though my family decided the way the 1980's was depicted in the mall actually reminded us of the way 2015 is depicted in the 2nd Back to the Future movie, which was ironically filmed in the 80's.  Just over the top stylized.  And Steve Trevor possessing a body Quantum Leap style was highly disconcerting.  No talk of family and so forth.  Steve and Diana full on make out, getting to know each other in the biblical sense.  This stranger's body is violated and raped without his consent, and at the end of the movie this man is back in his body, and Diana just smiles at him and that's it, the man none the wiser.  Turns Diana into a total scumbag.  She's selfish, thinks of her needs, and both her and Steve never once contemplate the ethics of stealing a life.  Not once.  She shouldn't have sacrificed Steve in order to let go of her needs and desires, she should have done it because it was the right thing to do, because she would have been saving a soul who had no choice.

HGTV just started showing the early episodes for Escape to the Chateau, about a British couple who buys a french chateau and fixes it up.  So charming.  I'm super loving it.  Though in the older Christmas episode that was shown the gal (don't know her name!) decided to reinvent the Christmas popper by cutting the innards of antique books out and putting the gifts in there.  Cutting antique books up!!!!  And they were the most darling old books to, one of which had elegant drawings.  It just made me want to cry.  And it makes me want to visit an antique shop and look through old books.  One of my favorite things to do.  But, alas, I don't have shelf space for more books.  (Heh, doesn't stop me from rearranging my shelves so more books can fit).

So I talk religiously on this blog from time to time, and I've mentioned that I believe there will be a 2nd coming of Christ.  That's not changing.  But it also means I'm a watcher, and I look for what is called the signs of the time.  This has been something I've been really thinking about.  We're to watch, but I also think it's good to be wise and open minded when it comes to prophesy.  There's two major religious groups: the Jews and the Christians.  One is waiting for the first coming of the Messiah, the other group is waiting for the second coming of the Messiah.  Why?  The interpretation of scripture and prophesy.  That's how powerful it is.  There's a lot of ideas of how certain prophesy's will come about, and I think we might be surprised a little by how they actually come to pass.  Some events we think are going to be big and grandiose, but they may be as simple and quiet as a baby being born in a manger.

I'm hopeful for 2021, but I'm also not going to be delusional about it, either.  Is this being negative?  Just realistic.  I keep running scenarios though my head.  I've worked down several paths.  January will be very telling.  Next week will be telling.  Goodness, I'm hinting at political stuff, and I don't want to get political on this blog.  Just waiting to see how things play out.  I want to make plans.  My Mom and I are planning a trip, and I'm now learning Spanish because of it.  We'll see if it happens.  So many possibilities.  I can't speak any of the other languages I've studied!!  Ah!!  Heh, well, it's a good thing to do.  But, be careful with where you get your news.  There's a lot of censoring going on.  What is said and how it is said is just as important as what isn't said.  Ignorance leads to easily being manipulated.  Don't be surprised.

And that is it.  I need to great the day, do some cleaning, and squeeze in those 10 miles today.  I will meet the challenge I've started.

Sarah

P.S. I finally got a hair cut, which I haven't done since February.  A whole 7 inches off, and it feels freeing.

Another Walking Goal Accomplished: The Motivation of Virtual Races

When it comes to exercising it's hard to find motivation. Well, at least for me.  Some of you may have no problem getting up and getting excited for another sweat session.  I, on the other hand, hang my head in dread.  Working on it!!!

Many years ago I discovered virtual races and some running clubs.  It's simple: Buy bling and when you finish the race it's shipped to you.  A tangible goal with physical results.  The 46 miles Mount Fuji  medal by The Conqueror is the latest I've received, and honestly the most gorgeous.  It's so beautiful in person.

After finishing Mount Fuji I immediately signed up for the Route 66 challenge, and then I realized, "What the freak did I just do??!!?!?!?!"  It's 2,280 miles and I'm determined to finish by the end of next year, but the good thing is biking miles count, and on my indoor pro-form bike I can do 5 miles in 30 minutes, which will improve over time.  I'm 105 miles into this, and about 5% in, so created a little buffer for next year.  This is my overall 2021 mile goal, so I can earn my 50 mile pins at the same time.  It works out to needing to do 44 miles a week.

Oh!  But for my 50 mile pins, and my mile month goals, 18 minutes on the bike or elliptical = 1 mile.  So 18 minute mile regardless of speed and resistance.  My 2020 year goal was 500, I needed 163 miles this month to finish.  I realized that I never counted miles for being at Disneyland for 3 days last February, and decided to count 10 miles from that, so my month goal is now 153.  I was so tired last Saturday!!  I needed a break.  I'm over 100 miles for the month (walking + 18 min machine miles), and only need 40 miles.  40 miles in 4 days!!  I'm going to be so overwhelmingly tired on Friday!!!

One of the things I love to do is put pins on the medal ribbons, but they have a value.  Each pin is 50 miles earned, so my kimono wearing Minnie Mouse from Tokyo DisneySea is worth more miles than the medal it's placed on.  And below are more pins I can place on the medal after earning another 50 miles.  It's a way to earn more miles and not crowd the medal hanger, or buy more medals.

One of my favorite things to do is collect pins when I travel, so being able to display my travel pins brings back so many memories. 

The Giverny France lily pin I bought at a gift shop after visiting Monet's Garden and Home in Giverny, just after walking over the actual bridge that is made famous in his paintings.  His home and gardens are so beautiful and so well maintained.

The Highway One pin I bought at a little shop at Ragged Point.  My Mom, Grandma A and I had just spent a few nights in a hotel next to Moonstone Beach in Cambria Ca.  We were going to start driving south to head home, but decided to go north instead.  Just to see more ocean and Hearst Castle on the hill.  But then we kept going, discovering Ragged Point, and then we're like, "Lets go to Monterey!!"  And so we did, all along Highway 1 through Big Sur with a little stop in Carmel By The Sea, before finding a hotel in Monterey, which was a little pricey, but so worth it.  Such a wonderful spontaneous trip, and one of my favorite memories with my Grandma.  Highway One is always a good idea.  Just breathtaking.

My medal hanger from the Hogwarts Running Club before rebranding to Potterhead Running Club.  I have more medals, but these are the ones I want to display, and it'll keep shifting around.  It's just a fun little hobby that helps me stay motivated.

 

Miles Managed!! :D

Virtual Sites worth checking out: Potterhead Running Club, Whovian Running Club, Yes.Fit, The Conqueror (fantastic online community), Virtual Running Club, RunDisney does virtual races (but they're really expensive, and they sell out fast, so I haven't done any), and many more.

Now to go get 10 miles.  0_0 (Which takes me 3.5 to 4 hours), and I'm doing this everyday for the next four days, but I'm going to make that 500 mile goal!!

 

 

Merry Christmas :0)

“This Christmas, mend a quarrel. Seek out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion and replace it with trust. Write a letter. Give a soft answer. Encourage youth. Manifest your loyalty in word and deed. Keep a promise. Forgo a grudge. Forgive an enemy. Apologize. Try to understand. Examine your demands on others. Think first of someone else. Be kind. Be gentle. Laugh a little more. Express your gratitude. Welcome a stranger. Gladden the heart of a child. Take pleasure in the beauty and wonder of the earth. Speak your love and then speak it again. Christmas is a celebration, and there is no celebration that compares with the realization of its true meaning — with the sudden stirring of the heart that has extended itself unselfishly in the things that matter most.” ~ Howard W. Hunter

I hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas, or whatever it is you are celebrating this day.  Whatever you're up to today I hope you're surrounded by loved ones, and if that's not possible I hope you have loved ones you can call and talk to. 

It doesn't feel like Christmas.  Well, it feels like half Christmas, if that were a thing.  But I'm listening to Christmas music.  A violin rendition of "Bring A Torch, Jeanette, Isabella."  It's sweet and flowing.  A touch of hopeful and the melancholic.  Jenny Oaks Baker is the artist if you want to look it up, and it is lovely.

It's Christmas already, which is strange and wonderful.  Today will be a good day.  A joyous day.

I hope today is wonderful for you.  

Merry Christmas,

Sarah

Searching for the Christmas Star

It's 8:33 pm this Monday night before Christmas as I sit here to write.  How many reading this tried to find the Christmas Star?  For those who don't know, the Christmas Star is simply the simi near sorta not really alignment of Jupiter and Saturn.  Together, with their powers combined, they're shining a little brighter in the sky.  It's also the Winter Solstice, which I think means daylight will start getting longer again.  (Huh, having a brain freeze).

Anywho, this whole Christmas Star business has been all over social media for the last bit.  We all need some good news and a little something to get excited over.  The last time the Christmas Star appeared was March 4, 1226, so it's been awhile.  

Late this afternoon my Mom, Dad, and I went to see The Nutcracker ballet at the movie theater, which was a Fathom event.  We got out just as the sun was setting.  My Dad left so my Mom and I decided to do a little Christmas shopping.  It was just after six when we got out and decided to go on a drive around town.  The Christmas Star was supposed to be out, but I couldn't find it.  Was it being hidden by buildings or distance hills?

We ended up around where my brother Michael and sister-in-law Krista live, so we dropped by to visit.  As we entered the street there was a neighborhood gathering.  My brother had a super fancy telescope set up, and everyone was taking turns to look through the eyepiece to see Jupiter and Saturn close up.  The planets were about to go behind a leafless tree, so my Mom and I made it in time, and I was able to see this planetary star.

You know, if my brother didn't point it out to me I wouldn't have guessed where it was.  Kinda underwhelming, to be honest.  Though seeing the planets through the telescope was really cool.  But want to know what was even cooler?  The Moon!!!  My brother set up the telescope to where the moon was, which is half light and dark, and it was so neat.  The line of light and dark fell over dozens and dozens of craters, and the sharpness of the image, with the light and shadows was just breathtaking. 

The next time this Christmas Star appears will be 2080.  That's in only 60 years.  I'm totally going to be around then... with my memory and eyesight intact!  Ah dang I'll be old. :P  

But that was fun.  A nice little distraction.  

Hope you're all having a wonderful week,

Sarah

 

The Beauty of Winter

It's finally that time of year where the snow is now sticking to the ground, and it is honestly lovely.  Heh, except for when traveling on I-15 and there's a sudden slowdown and the electronic signs indicate that there's a crash 4 miles ahead...

Snow is so peaceful.  So tranquil.  The way it dampens sound, washing out the world in quiet reverence.  Crunching freshly packed snow on the pavement is so satisfactory and wonderful.  And wondering if you can get away with not shoveling it, wondering in fear that it might turn into black ice if you don't...

As a child it was always great fun to go into the mountains and sprawl on the ground making snow angels, or rounding snowballs into giant snowmen for jolly effect.  Somehow the cold wetness of snow doesn't exist in my childhood memories.

The symbolism of Winter is so enlightening.  The Earth decaying into hibernation, trees losing their leaves, flowers shriveling up into brown stumps all for the wonderful reveal of Spring.  We must die a little to grow stronger.  We must lose a little to be thankful and not take anything for granted.  Without Winter I wouldn't realize how splendid it is to have Spring flowers.

On another note I just looked at the weekly weather report and it looks like we're not getting a White Christmas this year.  I'm seriously overjoyed.  Actually, I really am.  Not joking!  Though it has happened, several times in the past, that the weather report indicated bright sunshine dancing around Dec. 25th, and then we'd get a surprise snow storm Christmas Eve.  It's happened more than a few times, so I should take bets with my family if we really will have a White Christmas and then plan accordingly.

I truly have a love/hate relationship with this time of year.  :P

"I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says, 'Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again.'" ~ Lewis Carroll

I'm going to go get warm,

Sarah

Learning to Let Go

 "One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go.  Whether it's guilt, anger, love, loss, or betrayal.  Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go." ~ Mareez Reyes

I'm the sort of person who struggles with change.  Knowing what to expect is a comfort.  Computer program updates causes me internal stress and frustration.  And maybe, overall, I hold onto things too much.  Perhaps there are dreams I need to rethink and replan... no, I'm going to be stubborn on some goals and hopes.  But when it comes to guilt and loss, disappointment and frustrations I definitely hold on longer than I should. 

It's hard watching people leave.  It's hard not having love met.  It's hard when things are torn away from us.  And maybe that's why some of us hold on so tight, we're afraid of the loss and the change.  We're afraid of something different and the unknown, even if it's for our best.  It's hard to let go of things that seem good and/or beneficial, so we cling tight, even when that thing is slipping away.

Those are the moments that need a pause button.  A reflection button.  There are things in life we need to fight for.  But if there's something in our life that is unknowingly toxic, well, that needs to be discovered.  

There are also other things that we hold onto that's not good.  Bad habits.  Sins.  People who abuse, but then manipulate to maintain control of the cycle.  If we're addicted to a substance that isn't good for us, letting go is challenging.  There are personality traits that, left unchecked, hurt not just ourselves but others.  Changing is hard, but change for growth is necessary and good.

Sometimes we have no choice but to let go.  It's thrust upon us.  The shock is troublesome and unbearable, but clinging to the loss, after proper grief, can be harmful.  Letting go and moving on can bring peace.

Whatever you're struggling with, I pray you'll find peace and love.  Don't be afraid.  Pause and reflect.  Embrace life.  Even in these uncertain times there is still joy, peace, hope, and love in the World.  No matter what there are good days ahead.

Until next time, 

Sarah

A Little Scare...

So, as I usually do, this is written the night before it's posted.

It's nearly 9 pm, and what a day this has been.

Started out normal.  Exercised a little too much.  3 hours on the elliptical, 6 workouts all taking place in Germany during Christmas season, and just over 9 miles.  I was on a 7th workout when I started hearing loud scampering in the room above, which is my parents bedroom.  At first I didn't think much of it.  But the loud steps got louder, the pacing quicker.  And then I heard my Mom, crying as she came down.

I hopped off the machine, ran to get changed, frantically grabbed stuff, and when we finally made it to my Grandma's house the ambulance was pulling away.  We were too late.  One of my aunts lives with my Grandma and we headed to the hospital.

The next several hours were crazy.  They wouldn't let me in as only two people were allowed to see her.  At first I couldn't wait inside.  So I found a rock, and then later a bench outside.  Thankfully I double layered and it was only 43 outside.  My other Aunt was coming, and we were worried she wouldn't be allowed in.  My Grandma had a very bad stroke in the back of her head, and since it's a bad surgery I was allowed back to see her, and then my other Aunt arrived with less then 5 minutes till the start of the operation.

It seemed to be going well.  They got the blood clot out, and then she suffered a massive heart attack.

I'm at home now and just got off the phone with my Mom.  My Grandma's not doing well, and one of the doctors says it's her time.  

So I'm just numb.  Cried a crazy lot.  For the longest time I've been trying to find an interview I did with my Grandma where I asked her all these questions, but couldn't find it.  And then I got the impression that it's on this super old hard drive, and to go in one of my boxes and there I would find a now obsolete plug to connect it to my laptop.  I searched it, and there's a folder labeled "Interviews."  I only played the first few minute one and it was me talking to my Grandma about parking passes.  I didn't listen to the other clips, but started to transfer the whole hard drive to a newer one.  It's taking forever, but it's keeping me occupied.

Meanwhile, as I make sure my computer doesn't fall asleep and stop the transfer, I'm playing games and watching YouTube.  Prepaid Preacher always seems to calm me, so I'm watching him.  And after that I'm going to watch the 2020 First Presidency's Christmas Devotional which was posted over the weekend.  

So, yeah.  Just talked with my Dad who is here about regrets and whatnot.  My Grandma is the one I'm closest to.  We're Angeline's.  It's a spiritual bond.  And she's my last grandparent to still be alive.

So these next few days will be a mixture of emotion.  I don't know if I'll get another post written during the weekend, or wait till Monday.  So if you don't hear from me, this is what's going on.

Life comes at us with surprises.  Her parent's, my Granny and Gramps, lived until their mid-90's.  I was sure we'd have her till then.  She's in her mid-80's.  We don't want her to suffer.  She's surrounded by so many loved ones on the other side of the veil who have missed her and have been watching over her.  

Hope you're having a nice week,

Sarah

It's after 11 pm on Wednesday the 9th, and she just passed through the veil.  She was at peace.  I've been listening to her recordings, and they're a comfort.  It doesn't seem complete as I remember asking her more questions, but I'm thankful to have what I have as it's a conversation between the two of us just talking about stuff.  Wish I interviewed her more, but thankful.  Now to be there for my family.

Searching for Inspiration

That's literally what I'm doing right now, searching for inspiration.  What to write?   What to think?  It's strange, really.  Reading through dozens and dozens of quotes, none of them quite sticking.  All of them feeling a little hollow.

There's a lot of wisdom out there.  A lot of motivation.  And we all clamber towards them.  It's why TED talks get so many views and why motivational books are best sellers.  We're all hungry and searching.  The funny thing is that a lot of it is simply regurgitated with a nice new bow begging for more clicks and a new price tag. 

Okay, I'll stop!!  This is getting depressing!  What is this??!!  Cynicism rearing its head.

It's really just this thing I'm feeling that doesn't have words, and if I keep writing long enough maybe the words will come.

But, really, inspiration is good.  A happy quote.  A good piece of advice.  A kick in the pants.  Seeking those who know more than I to help bring new understanding and awareness.  It's all good.  We need it.

But we also need to pause, trust ourselves, and realize we may already have the answers we seek.  

So pause, breath, and trust.  Learn from experience.  Learn from memories and examples.  Realize the depths that are within and don't be afraid.  You know more than you realize.

And if none of that made sense here's a happy little quote I just found:

"What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals." ~  Zig Ziglar 

Have a splendid day,

Sarah

Don't Wait So Long to Follow Promptings of the Spirit

It's an early Sunday afternoon as I write this.  Usually I like to write blog posts and schedule them to upload in the morning, but today I'm not going to do this.  Today I'm going to write this out, do a quick proof read, and then upload immediately.  Because it just seems like a good thing to do.

Yesterday my Dad was desperately searching the house.  It was for a gift card that was left on the garage table a month ago.  Since then things have been moved, shifted, and cleaned up.  For the last few weeks I hadn't seen it.  After some time it was no where to be found.

As I pondered and said little prayers a vague memory started circulating through my mind like a fuzzy dream.  A feeling of seeing the card, a prompting to give it to my Dad, saying that it looked important, and that I might have done just that.  The recollection felt mismatched and potentially false, yet the feeling started to insist I go to my Dad's office and search his desk.  This I didn't do, feeling guilty about the memory.  Wondering if I was prompted in the past to give it to my Dad as he walked past, but didn't, and I was kicking myself for not following through.

All morning I couldn't shake the feeling.  "Go check his desk."  My Mom was going through stacks of paper in another room, and she was getting quite frustrated, so I finally headed the feeling and went to my Dad's office.  Now, hmmmm, his desk is a bit of a mess.  Papers and whatnot's everywhere.  I contemplated starting at one end and working towards the other, but the feeling returned, "start in the middle."  And so I did, shifting through a small stack surrounded by others, and under a DVD, low and behold, was the gift card!!

I laughed as I ran up the stairs, quickly showing my Mom who was relieved from feeling frantic.  I was a mixture of feeling overjoyed vs. berating myself for not following through sooner.  Thankfully I listened to the first prompting a month ago and gave the card to my Dad.  It was a true memory.  But I'm a little upset for waiting nearly 24 hours to check where the spirit whispered for me to check.

Now, I can hear some people maybe say it wasn't the spirit.  It was my subconscious recalling a scattered memory and solving the problem through logic.  But no, though this is most likely a contributing factor, I know the spirit was whispering to help me find the card.  It's really amazing, with everything happening in the World, all the craziness, God is still aware of us on a deeply personal level and cares for us individually.  I'm thankful for the little miracles in our lives.

Much love,

Happy Sabbath,

Sarah 

Completely Indie is 10 Years Old

On Friday, December 3, 2010 I posted my first blog post.  It was an introduction of who I am, but also about my music.  That was the original intent for this blog, to highlight and share the music I was working on.  After the introduction I wrote three more blog posts before the end of December, talking about the two Christmas songs I uploaded to YouTube: The French carol Sing We Now of Christmas and the original song Elvish Waltz. 

In the last 10 years, a crazy whole decade, this blog has grown way beyond that.  It's a mishmash, really.  Several years ago I thought about changing the name of this blog to: Curious Observations of an Eclectic Mind.  This would be a more accurate description to what this blog has turned into.  It's a smorgasbord of all the things I find interesting.

A few months ago I was hoping to get a Christmas song up this year, but it didn't happen.  Next year my goal is to return to music and start posting songs again.  There's a lot I hope to accomplish.  2021 is a mystery, but no matter what it brings I'm determined to have hope.

This blog will continue to be a collection of randomness, because that's my brain.  It's all over the place.  So thank you to all who have taken the time to read what I write here.  There were so many times I almost gave up on this thing, but glad I didn't.  

So thank you,

Until Next Time,

Sarah

December Health Goals: Operation Serotonin!

We're less than a month now until the start of 2021 and everyone begins their resolutions.  Crazy sauce.

Needless to say a lot of my 2020 resolutions have been tossed to the side, but there's still a month, and there's still time to make this year a positive.  One of my goals was 500 miles walked.  I've only done 336.45, so that leaves 163.55 to go.

Now, as with time goals change.  I want to get my miles, which would require 7.5 miles a day with two rest days a week.  I got 8.7 miles on Monday and 8.1 miles yesterday.  The way I'm going about earning has changed.  For walking I use the Nike+ app, which is really good for tracking indoor and outdoor miles.  But with starting iFit workouts I'm also doing the elliptical machine and a spinning bike.  For those I've decided to count 18 minutes on the machines as a mile, which is considerably less then the mileage the readouts say.

The benefit to all this is all the serotonin I'm going to get in the process.  Heh, though the one thing I've experienced these last couple days is feeling very tired.  It will be interesting to see how this month progresses.  But I'm determined.  Totally going to do this.

I'm working through a Conqueror Event for a Mount Fuji medal.  The medal is seriously one of the prettiest I've ever seen.    Pretty bling is a motivation.  I'm already over 50% towards the goal, and on Monday I did the iFit Mount Fuji Hiking workouts 2-7, back to back.  Such a workout!!  All on the elliptical, which is probably easier than the treadmill, but afterwords I felt tired good.

After Mount Fuji I'm going to brave Route 66, which is 2,280 miles which I'll either start this month or next, but the goal is to get all the miles by the end of 2021.  For that, and with Fuji, I am counting the full miles earned while biking and doing the elliptical, and not the 18 min to mi conversion.  Having the indoor bike is the only way I could complete the challenge.  It's a bucket item to road trip the whole length of Route 66, so it's cool to be able to say I biked, walked, and did the elliptical for the full length.  Now, granted, I don't know how accurate the mileage readouts are for the machines, but I'm not going to stress about it.  

So next year I'm not worrying about losing weight.  I'm still going to track weight as a measurement, but the true measurement I'll be doing next year will be mile based.

So, yay, fun crazy goals are afoot, and by the end of it I'll have worked through all the iFit workouts I've saved in my favorites.  (There's SO MANY!!)  I'm traveling the World from the comfort of home, but I really do hope to be able to go on a trip next year.  Feeling so land locked.

And ALL that serotonin is going to help me in so many ways. :D

I'll let you know New Years how I did. 0_0

Sarah

Thoughts After a Week of #GiveThanks & What I'm Most Thankful For

It's been a little over a week since President Nelson issued a challenge to #givethanks and share gratitude everyday.  Many of my friends took on this challenge as well.  Suddenly, overnight, my Facebook home feed was filled with gratitude and thanks, for a full week.

For the first day it was just really interesting.  On the second day I, sad to admit, got a little annoyed, mainly because I was just feeling lonely and stuff.  Silly little things, and I felt selfish for the emotion and worked through it.  And for days 3-7 I embraced it and it was just really nice.  

There's been a lot of negativity on social media, so having a week of positivity was a really good change.

Some things I was grateful for weren't mentioned like music and stories.  But the one thing that I'm most grateful for I didn't share this last week, and that is my family.  I'm most thankful for my family.

So after a week of gratitude I hope to carry this on personally.  Funny enough I have gratitude journals that I've purchased--more than one!!--and this challenge has motivated me to open the journals up and work through them.

Hope you have a nice Sunday and a good week,

Sarah.

(I didn't create these memes, but they were getting shared on Facebook, and are pretty funny.  I don't know who created them.)

#Givethanks Day 7: Toilet Paper and the Little Things

This is a year for the memory books: 2020. Jokes have been made.  Tears have been shed.  Isolation has tried souls.  Job losses and heart breaks.  Tyrannical governments testing power, control, and compliance. Etc. And then the toilet paper shortages started, which is still happening here in Utah.  Toilet paper was replenished during the Summer, but when Governor Herbert announced restrictions and mandates, going against promising to never rule as a police state, and even stating that no household could have outside visitors, there was a rush on toilet paper all over again.  Other items are fine.  Just the toilet paper was scavenged and devoured.

2020 has become the year of being thankful for the little things, especially the things we take for granted all the time.  Toilet paper... when Socialists overtook Venezuela there were stories of toilet paper shortages before other shortages began.  I remember thinking it odd that TP would be one of the first items to go, and so it always stuck in the back of my mind.  And then sure enough when our crises struck TP was one of the first things to go.  Ironic or coincidence?  And... I can make so many potty jokes in regard to this, but I'll refrain.  Toilet paper seems so simple.  An everyday item.  An item of convenience, comfort, necessity, without which life would suddenly become more cumbersome.  In the early days of the pandemic I remember a billboard advertising a radio station giveaway: "A Bidet a Day!" the sign read.  I laughed until it was no longer funny.

I've learned to appreciate the little things even more this year.  To appreciate the small moments and be grateful.  Now, I'm not one of those who subscribes to the idea of "the new normal."  I roll my eyes and shake my head with sadness whenever the phrase is spoken or read.  I'm an inquisitive skeptic, always looking at data and asking questions such as, "How many asymptomatic cases are really just false positives?"  and so forth.  I don't want to live in a society where we will perpetually be asked to "mask up."  We're on the edge.  It's possible.  Those who claim to follow science are really following ideologies.

I'm getting off topic, and this is supposed to be a thankful post.  This is actually Day 7 of a week long challenge. (It's all the built up frustration spilling over, so I apologize).  What I'm trying to say is that I am thankful for the little things.  I don't want to take anything for granted, especially toilet paper.  But also food and other necessities.  We get so caught up with life that there are so many things we take for granted.  But I'm also thankful for the freedoms we have.  For liberty, which I will always hold dear and stand up for our right to maintain.  For freedom of thought.  Knowledge.  Truth.  Critical thinking and inquisitiveness.  I will never stop asking questions, and when information is getting censored or people demonetised it will only cause me to dig deeper and ask more questions.  I'm thankful for that right and for agency, which I will always champion.

And this has been a whole lot more serious than originally anticipated.  This blog entry was supposed to be lighthearted, silly even, but my heart took over.

So until next time,

Truth Will Out,

Sarah

(This challenge is inspired by President Nelson's challenge to share Gratitude everyday for a week on social media.)

 

#Givethanks Day 6: The Gift of Life

Another quickie as I like to write these the day before, and I just had Thanksgiving dinner, family is still over, and I'm about to fall asleep. :P Actually, true story.

But goodness, have you ever stopped to realize the incredible blessing it is just to be alive?  To have a life!?  To be in this moment right now?  It's remarkable.  Truly.  Life is remarkable.

Granted, everything isn't perfect.  I'm super crazy far from being perfect.  And there are some things I'm doing better at than others, by a lot.  But you know what?  I'm just happy to be alive.  

Life is a miracle.

You are a miracle! :D

(PS. The pie was yummy. :0)

"I have concluded that counting our blessings is far better than recounting our problems." ~ Russell M. Nelson 

(This challenge is inspired by President Nelson's challenge to share Gratitude everyday for a week on social media.)

#Givethanks Day 5: Grateful for Pie and Good Health

This will just be a quickie as I've got a ton of stuff going on today.

Last Thanksgiving I didn't have any pie.  Pie is a rite of passage on Thanksgiving.  But alas, this time last year I was sick.  My 104 fever had broken, my lungs were being attack, super tired, and zero appetite.  The first thing I did Thanksgiving morning when I woke up was grab some hand cream to see if I could smell it, having lost my smell and taste the weekend before.  Thankfully the cream had a scent.  Still don't know what I was sick with, but a part of me still wonders if it was the "Rona", since I caught it at Disneyland when the bug possibly started circulating late last year.  So many mysteries.

So, yeah, most of last year I was sick.  Caught a respiratory illness in Tokyo April 2019, relapsed on the UK trip in May, and then spent the Summer trying to recuperate my lungs.  I was feeling better by Autumn, but then got sick in November, and my lungs have been an issue since.  Good news, though, I've discovered that walking is actually helping my lungs, along with the herbal supplements I've started taking.  There are many hours in a day now where my lungs are feeling normal.  So it's a process, not 100%, but considerably better than earlier this year.

I don't know, it is what it is.  One thing I am thankful for is that I'm feeling so much better.  And this year I'm going to have pie!!  

Gotta appreciate the little things.

Until next time, 

Sarah

(This challenge is inspired by President Nelson's challenge to share Gratitude everyday for a week on social media.)

 

#Givethanks Day 4: The Joy of the Christmas Season

Everyone seems to want a little extra Christmas cheer this year, well, at least that's what it seems like this year.  Several neighbors already have their Christmas decorations and lights displayed.  We already have our tree up!  It's tradition to wait the day after Christmas to put up and decorate the tree.  But not this year.  Today I'm going to help decorate the tree the day before Thanksgiving, and when our family comes to visit tomorrow we can all bask in the tree's glow.  

Isn't that the nicest thing about Christmas Trees?  The lights at night.  All the lights in the house are dimmed or turned off, while the Christmas Tree shines bright.  It's magic.  Enchanting really.  I love it.

It's Exactly one month before Christmas.  November 25th.  Crazy isn't it!!??  Oh my goodness.  Where did this year go??!!  Heh, it's probably a good thing this year has flown by so fast.  But, oh, I don't know.  Do I really want 2021 to be here so soon?  No, not yet.  I'm going to enjoy this time.  Enjoy the Christmas cheer.  Have a hot chocolate or two.  Fill out cards to send in the mail.  Spend time with family.  Read next to the Christmas tree.  Celebrate the birth of Christ.  Watch Christmas movies and listen to Christmas songs.  Just get lost in the feeling.  The peace.

Yup, that's what I'm going to do!

After a year of crazy I'm going to focus on the things that really matter.

Much love,

Sarah

(This challenge is inspired by President Nelson's challenge to share Gratitude everyday for a week on social media.)

 

#GiveThanks Day 3: The Blessing of Jeans That Fit :\

In all honesty I had a hard time coming up with something to be grateful for today. There are a lot of things for which I am grateful.  I don't know... this is really an interesting challenge President Nelson has issued.  

Then I thought of something really silly, but very true!!!!  I'm thankful I had jeans I was able to wear all Summer and Autumn so that I didn't need to buy new jeans.  It seems there were two types of people during quarantine this year: those who gained weight and those who lost weight.  Unfortunately I was in the former group.

Now, some girls love shopping, which is another group I don't fit into.  Clothe shopping is so annoying!!  No, it really is.  I hate clothe and shoe shopping.  30 minutes in and I'm typically in a bad mood.  Now book shopping is another story.  That can last for many blissful hours.  Also, I feel indulgent if I spend over $40 for a shirt, but can easily drop $35 dollars on the right book without thinking twice.  True story. :\

But in all honesty I just don't have the money to splurge on clothes right now, so the stress of possibly needing to buy new jeans was overwhelming.  Thankfully I didn't throw out my "bigger" jeans when I lost a little weight and kept them in a drawer, but those are the jeans I was able to wear as I tackled pandemic weight gain and loss.  They got tight, but wearable, and now that I've lost my quarantine weight they're comfortable.  Still wearing them and afraid to try my other jeans.

Yeah, this seems like a silly, probably vain thing to be thankful for, but it's something I'm honestly glad I had.  Though I also need to stop buying books and get my priorities straight.  Books are my happy place.

(This challenge is inspired by President Nelson's challenge to share Gratitude everyday for a week on social media.)

 

#GiveThanks Day 2: The Beauty of Light

Early morning light warms up my room as I start this post.  How often do we stop and realize what a blessing it is to have our sun?  Our universe, this Earth, is so perfectly balanced.  There's a long list of what is needed for life to exist on a planet, one of which is a sun.  Ours is just the right size and distance.  The spinning of the Earth is just the right speed for a balance of warmth and cool, light and darkness.  Everyday the Earth revolves one round, bringing us out of darkness when we're in need of light once more.

Then there's the Eco-biological blessings of light.  Photosynthesis.  The life it brings.  Helping turn carbon-dioxide to oxygen, so we can breath and have clean air.  

There's something magical that comes from lying on the ground in the open air, bathed in light.  It renews our spirit.  It gives us vitamin D.  And it can give us cancer if we don't take the proper precautions, so there's that as well.  That's not a good thing, so I'm thankful for sunscreen, hats, and umbrellas.

But I've been thinking a lot recently about the symbolism of light vs dark, which can be applied to good vs evil.  I'm about to sound pretty cliché, but there's that image of the power of light to push out darkness.  Light a match, that simple flame, and darkness flees.  Darkness cannot stand where light shines.  Where there is no light darkness attacks, infiltrates, and devours.  Once someone turns on a light then darkness cannot remain.

It's interesting how light is an action.  You must willingly, actively bring light.  The match must be lit.  The light bulb turned on.  The sun must be formed to shine.  Darkness is the result of no action towards bringing light.  

And the same goes for us.  We can be a light or succumb to darkness.  It's a choice, one each of us can make.  We can choose, use our agency, and act in a way that brings light to the World.  Love, peace, hope, and kindness.  Though I'm not saying that those that suffer with grief and battle darkness can't, or are not able to have light.

Life is crazy at times.  But I can testify in the power of light and in God's goodness.  There are times when I've sorrowed, prayed, and felt love pour over me in comfort, and the only way to truly explain the feeling is that it felt like I was being bathed in light.  Pure light.  This doesn't happen every time I pray, just a few choice moments here and there, but I am thankful for the times I've been able to feel God's love and peace.  It seems I move through times where I feel really close to heaven vs. very distant.  That ebb and flow.  Times of trial mixed with serenity.  Moments that allow me to keep trying, keep working, and keep exercising faith.

I have no doubt God lives and he is good.  I have no doubt we are his children and this is his World.  I have no doubt in God's love for us.  The sun warms our skin, but God's love warms our soul.

Much love,

Keep the Faith,

Don't give up,

Light shines all around us,

Sarah

(This challenge is inspired by President Nelson's challenge to share Gratitude everyday for a week on social media.)

#Givethanks Day 1: There Are Always New Things to Discover

For the last few years I was blessed with the opportunity to travel, but since February I haven't ventured beyond 20 or so miles.  Not out of choice, but circumstance, and this little thing called a pandemic.

I'm thankful for that time traveling about, especially now.  This year I've been able to explore the area in which I live a little bit more.  Find new places.  New nooks.  Just this last week I took a couple drives along the mountain to Springville and Mapleton, which I've never really ventured.  Quaint little communities, really.  And then ended up at Robbie and Lindsay's, my brother and sister-in-law, for a little visit.

As part of my workout routine I started doing iFIT workouts on the elliptical and spinning bike, and the workouts have been really fun!  One of the great things about them is the fact that there's workouts from all over the World.  So far I've been hanging out in Japan and England, and can almost imagine I'm there.  It doesn't replace the actual experience of visiting a new place, but it's still amazing to see new things, learn new things while getting healthy at the same time.

It's just amazing the time in which we live.  Yes, the World itself is going crazy, and the censorship is unbearable, but technology also has its pluses.  There's so much information.  So many things to learn.  It's easy to get sucked into YouTube learning new things, hearing different opinions (though there is a censorship problem there as well), and watching silly videos.  Great Courses Plus and Curiosity Stream is a wealth of information.

I dream of traveling again, but I'm thankful to live in an area where there's so much nature and interesting things to discover.  It would be fun to visit all the National Parks we have, in which I've only seen a few.  And it's nice having the mountains so close.  I miss the ocean!!  But love the mountains, too.

So adieu until next time,

Truth will out,

Sarah

 

November Health Goals: Just Trying To Make Sense of It All

Well, what a crazy time we're living in, right?

In other news I've lost... 9.7 pounds from my highest!!!  :D  Almost ten.  Close enough.  And two inches from my waist.  I'm pre-2020 weight!!!

Heh, I did have sugar.  Didn't make it to January 1st, but I did make it a whole seven weeks, which is an accomplishment.  I plateaued for several weeks, so I realized I needed to give my body a break.  For a whole week I didn't walk and allowed myself sweets, and the next week, a couple days ago, fearing for the worst at my latest weigh in I ended up losing two pounds!  Now, could it be from loss of muscle?  Maybe.  Or maybe the loss of stressing had a positive effect.  Also possible.

So, yeah.

But I also realized something startling.  Earlier this year I mentioned how my lungs have been affected by two respiratory illnesses I had in 2019 of unknown origin.  In May I finally went to the doctor to address my squeezed lungs and coughing.  I was put on Montelukast.  I've been struggling all Summer and Autumn with depression and dark thoughts, plus having a hard time sleeping at night feeling unsettled and a dark creepy feeling, needing at times a nightlight and calming music to help me sleep.

I got this really strong feeling to stop taking my medication.  After two weeks I noticed that those night time feelings have gone away, and I was suddenly sleeping much easier.  No longer needing a nightlight and no longer getting that dark presence feeling.

Well, I finally looked up my medicine and found this: "FDA strengthens warning about mental health side effects linked to montelukast." And then in another article, "Those taking montelukast who exhibit mood changing behaviors should immediately report symptoms to a healthcare provider. These can include bad or vivid dreams, depression, disorientation or confusion, feeling anxious, hallucinations, irritability, restlessness, stuttering, and uncontrolled muscle movements."

It's frustrating.  Apparently it really affects kids, but also affects adults.  So, it's really hard not getting really upset, wondering "was it the drug all this time that ramped up my self loathing and feelings of worthlessness?  That was creeping me out at night and making it difficult to sleep?  Or is it all in my imagination?"  I'm sleeping better now, but still battling dark thoughts, but they are easing.  Really, I'm just feeling numb.

And since I've given up this lung medication my squeezed lungs and coughing has returned.  It's not as bad as earlier this year, but still a bother.  I don't want to go to the doctor, so I'm going the natural route to see if that can help.  I hate breathing in a feeling of pressure, afraid to cough and irritate my throat, which then affects my singing.  But it is what it is right now. I'm just figuring this out as I go along.  Those illnesses last year did it to me, so hopefully my lungs will eventually heal from all that trauma.

Well, I'm getting myself back and figuring things out.  Yesterday I found "The Power of Starting Something Stupid" by Richie Norton on my bookshelf.  Got it eons ago and forgot all about it, never read it, but the book's spine jumped out at me, and I knew it was time for it to be in my life.  Already on page 49, and what have I learned thus far?  I've been living in a holding, waiting pattern way too long.  Need to stop that.

President Russell M. Nelson uploaded a video yesterday, "On the Healing Power of Gratitude."  He challenged everyone to write on social media everyday for a week something we are grateful for.  I'm really not active at all on social media, but I have this blog I've yet to abandon, so starting tomorrow, everyday for a week, I will write about something I'm thankful for.

Until next time, Truth Will Out,

Sarah

 

A Spooky Night in York England, 2017

(Recollections are from a pre-pandemic world)

September 28, 2017

The morning was an early one, as is typical when on a tour.  Wake up super early to grab the continental breakfast, assigned by the hotel as to not interfere with other hotel guests.  We, my Mom and I, were in Chester, and we had to pack, eat, give the bus our luggage, and be in the meeting place for a tour of Chester, just at the crack of dawn, before all the shops were open.  The tour was nice, but that's not why I'm writing this blog post.

I'm writing in regards to what happened in York later that evening.

On the two hour bus ride from Chester to York a memory came to mind, one that I haven't thought of in well over a decade.  I was either a sophomore or junior in High School, and was sitting in early morning seminary at the church, 6:30 am.  The lesson itself is long forgotten, but what is clear in my mind was the sudden entry of a man.  No one knew who he was.  Disheveled.  Unkempt.  He swayed and wobbled as he walked.  Did he say anything?  I can't recall.  What I do remember was the way he paced back and forth in front of our class, charging forward in quick motions to scare us.  Our teacher hanging against the wall doing nothing.

All of a sudden this man got closer to us, and then started to hover around the spot where I sat, my right arm table up supporting my books, attached to my seat.  All of a sudden he stopped right in front of me, dropped to his knees, and banged on my table as he met me at eye level.  How long did we hold that stare?  I don't know.  It felt like an eternity.  But I held his gaze.  I didn't quiver.  I didn't flinch.  And then all of a sudden he stood up, left, and we never saw him again.  Days later I heard rumor that he might have escaped from the state hospital.

That memory kept circling through my mind as our bus drove into York.  The same queasy feeling I felt as a teenager, the feeling of repressed fear bubbling under the surface, was thick and hard to shake, but I did as we toured York.  A walk down the shops, getting lost in the Shambles, dinner at Bettys cafe tea room.  After stopping in a couple shops it was dark, and the stores were beginning to close.

Ghost tours were starting to come upon the city.  Random groups gathering around men wearing top hats.  It was fascinating to watch from a distance, but I get spooked easily, and that feeling was back.  The feeling I had as a teenager with the swaying man.

I looked up the street and noticed a man watching me.  He was in shadow, hidden from lamp light, disheveled with a sway.  Not wanting to make much of it, thinking it was only coincidence, I put it to a test.  As my Mom and I walked up the street, he followed on the other side.  I purposely stopped and watched him out of the corner of my eye, avoiding ghost tours in the process.  When we stopped, he stopped.  When we walked, he walked.  After establishing the pattern I alerted my Mom to the situation, going through the walking and stopping movements to prove my point.  We were both scared by this point, and made it a point to continue where there were lots of people, and to delay heading to our hotel as not to be followed.

Finally, after quite awhile, he got impatient and just left.  And at that point, checking behind us several times, we fast paced it to our hotel.  Adrenaline going crazy.  We made it, felt safe, and then had a good laugh.  York is really quite charming in the daytime, but at night it's a different animal.  The city feels different.  Maybe it was seeing all the ghost tour groups moving up and down the streets that played with my imagination.  Not far fetched.  But I was so glad to be safe that night.  So glad to be away from the feeling of being spooked.

It's Never Too Late

I almost went another day without blogging.  Sorry about that.  Sometimes I'm super jazzed up and write a whole lot, and then sometimes I'm banging my head on my desk while fighting procrastination.  But I didn't want to go another day without sharing a little something.

One of the things I enjoy doing while surfing the net is to collect quotes.  Little sources of inspirations and motivation.  They're gems that I gather into a little treasure trove, opening and reading through when times are tough, or when I'm struggling.

The quote below, which hopefully hasn't already been shared, is one of my favorites.  It is religious, but a lot of the quotes I gather are spiritual.  This quote is one that's saved on my desktop and read often.  

“However late you think you are, however many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don’t have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines.”~ Jeffrey R. Holland

Have a wonderful day,

Sarah :0)

Flies Are Seriously the Dumbest Insect

There are a lot of annoying things in this world, one of which are flies that get trapped in cars.  They come in and no matter how many hints you give them they wont go out the window.  I've found a couple other insects far more intelligent.

Several years ago I wrote about a praying mantis that got trapped in the car.  Written September of 2012 I wrote: "So a couple days ago I was in the car with my Mom and brother Steven, who was sitting in the back seat.  He made a startled sound.  On his backpack was a large, tan colored praying mantis who had climbed up to let Steven know it was there.  My Mom rolled down the window, and the mantis flew up, waiting for the window to be completely lowered.  Then it flew out of the window... where it hopefully wasn't squashed by a car."

Last week I was waiting in the car for my Grandma and Aunt.  The front windows were completely rolled down, though the back windows were slightly cracked open.  I was in the passenger seat, alone, and through the drivers side window flew in a giant dragonfly.  It was huge!  And it made quite the sound as it was frantic!  He ended up in the back, noticing the cracked window, and tried to get out.  I didn't have the keys and couldn't lower the window, so I was in the process of getting out of the car to open his door, but he made it out before I had the chance to get out myself.

Now a couple days ago, on the other hand, a fly came in.  And, as in times past when this sort of thing has happened, when I rolled down the window the fly didn't want to leave.  He just flew this way and that.  To the front, back, and whatever way he wished.  No care in the world.  Even when he was next to the window there was just no coaxing.  Then he flew to the back of the car again.  I had to quickly get into the house to do something, so the little guy is probably still in the car, probably quite merry in his predicament.  Maybe flies are quite social and like being around humans.

Heh, unrelated to cars, the other day I met a little flying insect of some sort.  Kinda looked like a little beetle, though most likely something else.  Reminded me of the cockroach in WALL-E, but it wasn't a cockroach in the slightest, just reminded me of the representation.  I was sitting outside on a step, and at first it flew away from me making a clicking like sound which alerted me to its presence, and then he flew back, landing right next to me near a railing. It turned and looked up at me, raising the front of his body while his back stayed down.  I bent down and told him, "Don't worry, I'm not going to flick you." So he turned to the side and flew up to the railing where he started to climb up.  The next day I was in my Mom's room talking, and the same insect flew at the window, hitting the glass and falling down.  He then flew back up, landing on the glass about where I was, and then climbed to the top.  I think I've made a friend. :P Haven't seen him since.

Until next time, c'est fini.

Changing Seasons, Cilantro, Macarons, and Songs that Fill Moods

Autumn never seems to last long enough.  Summer and Winter are the forever seasons while Spring and Autumn tug back and forth between the first two, never getting a true fair shake.  Last Tuesday was north Utah's last day in the 70's, and now we are in a temperature freefall, bouncing about here and there with a chance of snow on Sunday.  Yippee!! :P 

Anywho, in other news, I told my Mom that cilantro is really good for detoxing.  Read that somewhere, so it must be true.  And it must be why green smoothies always list it as an ingredient.  And then I told her that some people have a gene that makes cilantro taste like soap.  Sadness.  She's never had a problem with cilantro before, but bought a tiny bunch to try.  While having lunch yesterday she ate it and declared, "It tastes like soap!"  I told her it must be in her head, because she's never had this issue before.  After a few chews she decided that it was 50/50.  The cilantro tasted normal to me. *shrug*

Now lavender sometimes taste like soap in things.  But tasty soap!!  Oh my goodness, there's a little shop in the Paseo Nuevo outdoor mall in Santa Barbara called Le Macaron French Pastries, and I just checked and they seem to still be in business.  That's fantastic.  They have a pastry chef from France, and they make Lavender macarons that are so good.  But want to know the best flavor??!!  Rose!!!!  It's so good.  And no other macaron place I've been to has them.  I haven't been to Santa Barbara in well over a year.  It's probably going to be awhile before I get the chance to visit California again.

Please tell me other people are like this... have you ever loved a song so much that it goes on loop, sometimes for days?  A couple weeks ago I was digging "Fallin' (Adrenaline)" by Why Don't We.  Slow beginning, but goes into a great beat.  Then it was Rascal Flatts album "How They Remember You."  That lead me to discover the song "Ocean" by Lady A (formally known as Lady Antebellum), and that song went on loop a full two days.  It fed a mood.  And it crazy slowed down my productivity. -_-;;  Oh, and then I went on a Radio Disney kick and discovered the song "Lie Like This" (clean edit) by Julia Michaels.  It has such a nice chorus.  And now I'm digging the Christian song "Haven't Seen It Yet" by Danny Gokey, which has three versions, and they're all nice.  

Hope you're having a great day! :D

 “Listen! The wind is rising, and the air is wild with leaves, we have had our summer evenings, now for October eves.” ~ Humbert Wolfe

 

A Sunset in Pastels

Every now and then I come across a scene that must be captured by photograph.  Last nights sunset was one such scene.  The sky in vivid pastel hues, bright and beautiful.  Looking as if a painter quickly brushed the colors on the horizon.  It's one of the more beautiful sunsets we've had in a long time.

The air wasn't so bad today, what with all the fire smoke we've been having.  Yesterday I took a drive up the canyon to see the fire damage.  The north side, at the mouth of the canyon, was scorched.  Thankfully the fire didn't jump the rode to burn the waterfall side, which is prettier.  As I was coming back through the canyon, turning at Deer Creek, a helicopter was dumping water where the earth still smoked near the mouth of the canyon.  After dumping the water the helicopter flew to the river to gather more water for another soak.  The road leading to Sundance is blocked off, open to local traffic only.

I hope you're having a nice day.  Hopefully the leaves are turning where you are, making that wonderful rustle sound with the wind blows.  Autumn truly is a nice time of year.

"A heart that can feel is a heart that can heal." ~ Emily Orton

Random Thoughts: October Edition

'Tis the season of pumpkin goodness!!  Seriously, pumpkin everything is the best part of Autumn, followed by the changing leaves and the nippy crisp air.  Though I can't have pumpkin treats!  The agony.  Buuuuttt, there's a pretty good herbal pumpkin tea at Trader Joe's.  It's not pumpkin bread, but it's nice and warm and hits the spot.  Though you can't smother it with whip cream. :\  Sadness.  Pumpkin scented candles are nice, too.

There's a fire in Provo Canyon.  Started yesterday morning and still going into last evening. Three helicopters and six planes are trying to put it out.  The canyon is closed. The fire itself is close to the water treatment plant.  Hopefully it goes well and everyone is safe.  Evacuations have started near the canyon, so not a good situation in that regard.

My car has hopefully had its last major problem this year.  Last year I had to replace all four tires and rims, because my tires kept going randomly flat.  Not safe.  Then the fuel pump had to be replaced.  And my 13 year old battery finally died!  Yay.  My brother Michael came over and helped me with it.  He also replaced the headlights I ordered a month ago, because the seal cracked and water was getting into the light and rusting.  So kudos to Michael for being amazing, awesome, super smart, humble, patient, and always willing to help not just his big sis, but everyone who needs it he's always there to lend a hand.  Drove my car this afternoon to get the core money for returning the old battery, and it was driving so nice.  The nicest in a long time.  Maybe the battery and fuel pump have been fighting each other?  Just guessing, and just hoping nothing else will go wrong for a little bit.

Meanwhile at Walmart all the Halloween stuff is out.  It's probably been out for quite awhile, I just haven't been there in awhile.  For the kids sake I hope they get the Halloween they want.  One of my nieces is so excited for it, but I haven't heard word what's going on in that regard.  Kids need their Halloween and candy.  

So in the past I've blogged about the Mickey Memories and the Disney Wisdom collections at the Disney Store.  This year it's Minnie Mouse based on Disney Park attractions.  When the shut downs started I was able to get Tea Cup Minnie Mouse off of the website.  That was under the old system.  For the most part I haven't been crazy about the designs, except Peter Pan.  All the Peter Pan Minnie stuff is adorable, and the King Arthur Minnie ears and loungefly backpack. I wasn't able to get those items, which is probably a good thing.  Sometime in May-ish/June the Disney store went to a lottery system.  From the Facebook groups I'm in so many people are upset and some have stopped trying to collect the series.  I only tried for Peter Pan and King Arthur carousal, and didn't win the lottery.  Didn't need to spend the money, so it's all good.  Tea Cup Minnie is adorable, so I'm glad to have gotten her.

Next month is Nanowrimo, in two weeks!  Haven't done it in years, but I'm excited.  These next two weeks will be prep.  The story will be fantasy for kids, so it'll be silly and cute.  Mainly I'm writing it for my nieces and nephew.  I prefer third person, but this will be in first person, and I want to read and record it as well.  Haven't done any acting in years... almost two decades.. but I'm going to have fun with this.  Just have fun.

So, the podcast my brother Michael and I are working on isn't coming out this month.  There were some set backs.  The music software is being agreeable, so I'm just playing around with intro song ideas.  Not quite happy with it yet.  But... oh, I want to tell you the theme for the podcast, but I'll leave that for the official announcement.  It's not like Steven and Robbie's podcast.  It's in a subject realm.  All I'll say is that it plays to Michael's talents and expertise and to my curiosity.  We're having fun.  We just haven't put a complete episode together yet, because we're working on form and all that jazz.

Anywho, I hope you're having a good month, despite everything.  Keep your head up.  Try to keep smiling.

Did you know researchers in the UK discovered the most interesting thing about smiles?  A smile has the same neurological boost as eating a bunch of chocolate or receiving $25,000.  A simple 'ol smile can do that!  These days we're being deprived of smiles.  Some people seem to be okay with masks.  I'm on the side that's not in favor of them. Touchy, controversial subject, I know. (Not going to get into it, because no matter what one believes there's scientific evidence to support it).  But one of the reasons I have a hard time with masks is smiles.  We're isolated at home, and then we go into public and we're isolated in public.  We need smiles!!  I wonder if one of the reasons so many people are depressed is because we need to give and receive smiles.  It really does make us feel better.

"Some people could be given an entire field of roses and only see the thorns in it. Others could be given a single weed and only see the windflower in it. Perception is a key component to gratitude. And gratitude is a key component to joy." ~ Amy Weatherly

 

Space Aliens, UFOs and Me

Whether or not we are alone in the universe has been the stuff of legend and wonder for decades.  This last year, just one more stone added to everything else we've been dealing with, the talk of UFO's and ET's have escalated.  The Pentagon declassified videos showing UFO's performing unusual feats.  I just watched a video on YouTube about declassified Soviet information about underwater divers seeing underwater aliens and flying saucers above and below the water.  Last year a bunch of people wanted to crash Area 51, which I don't think really happened.  A new documentary called The Phenomenon, which I haven't watched, is stirring up more debate.

It's hard to know what to believe, really.

When I was a kid I thought I might have seen a UFO.  I say might because sometimes it feels like I might have been hallucinating.  It couldn't have been real, right?  As a kid I would sleep on the trampoline starring up at the Milky Way.  One night I was looking up, and suddenly there was this big bright light growing bigger and bigger as it came close to me from the South.  How close?  I don't know.  I closed my eyes, and when I opened them it was gone.   I looked up and saw the blinking light of an airliner, as we lived under a flight path, but the object of light itself was gone.

And want to know what's weird?  As I write this I'm watching an episode of Brad Meltzer's Decoded, S2, Ep7 "Proof of UFOs Reveled" off of YouTube, and as I typed the above paragraph I was listening at minute 32.37, relating an experience President Reagan had in 1974.  He was in an airplane near Bakersfield CA.  He saw a bright white light, they followed it to Bakersfield where they saw the white light shoot right up to heaven.  

Get this, when I was a kid I lived an hour driving distance North of Bakersfield, and it was a bright white light.  This is the first time I've heard someone seeing something I saw, and in the neighboring area I saw it.  Albeit I saw it in the early 90's, but still.  Crazy, right?  I'm a little freaked out right now.  I always wondered if I dreamed it.  I started suffering from Sleep Paralyses attacks at age 9, and still deal with them.  My last attack was a couple weeks ago and was quite terrifying.  It's why I sometimes fear sleeping.  But with SP attacks hallucinations are involved, and then some.  My SP experiences I'll never talk about, though my family gets an earful.  It's why they won't tell ghost stories around me.  I've lived it.

But all growing up I wondered if what I saw that night was a dream or not.  I wasn't paralyzed. I was fully able to move.  But even though I saw the white light, I don't recall any light being on me, and I don't remember hearing anything.

For the longest time I kept it secret, until several months ago when I heard both my Dad and my brother Steven saw lights doing weird things in the sky when we lived in Porterville.

So, this will go down as a childhood mystery.  Did I or didn't I see a UFO?  And if so why was it getting closer to me before disappearing?  I wished I didn't squeeze my eyes shut, but I was scared, so I don't know if it shot up to heaven or not.

With all this alien and UFO talk I've been seeing an increase in discussions if whether those of us who are Christians would suddenly lose our faith if we found out alien life was real.  I'm apart of a Facebook group called "Super Geeks of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints," and a little while back such a discussion broke out with 298 comments.  The resounding answer was that we wouldn't lose our faith.  I wouldn't.  At all.  Our faith believes God created worlds without end, and that there's life on other worlds.  It's probably why there are so many Latter-day Saint nerds, because we're curious about the universe.  The statistical probability of there being intelligent life out there is so minuscule, what with all the conditions that must be met with a perfect world, etc, that if there was alien life it would prove intelligent design as legit.

Even so it's all interesting and fun to talk about.  Have fun looking at the stars.

Sarah

Reliving this Last Year While Reading Past Texts

Every now and then I like to go into my family's text thread and back it up for safe keeping, which is what I was up to over the weekend.  Download all the pictures and re-read everything.  I didn't get through this entire last year, only making it from the beginning of November to the end of this past March.

It was fascinating.  Emotionally draining.  Some months more active than others.  It was strange literally watching the world close in on us all.  And it brought me back, reliving things I had forgotten.

November was a festive month, mainly for my parents.  They went on a two week cruise in the Pacific, traveling from Hawaii to Tahiti.  It was an epic trip, and they shared all of their fun details.  And then right when they got home my Mom decided she wasn't in the Christmas spirit and off the two of us went to Disneyland.  We're annual pass holders, but it still felt super reckless, but I just can't say no to Disneyland.  In hindsight I'm glad we were spontaneous.

The Holidays were carefree.  Sicknesses were going around, but we were still getting together as a family and going out doing stuff.

It was coming home from Disneyland in early February when the virus made its first mention, us all chatting about the whistle blower dying, and the effect it was causing overseas.  Early March was the toilet paper crises.  Disbelief after Costco running out of toilet paper.  Then Walmart.  And then everywhere else.  Texts of shock and dismay.  And a whole lot of toilet paper memes.  For the record duck tape isn't the end all, fix all.  Don't put it on a toilet paper holder. 

I forgot about the insanity that was my Mom's birthday.  Her's was the first to be impacted by the craziness.  We had bought everything, and then hours before the party three of my nieces, from two households, got sick.  The youngest of the set with a fever.  The party was cancelled, and then the next several hours was spent with my Mom and I making meal kits for everyone, cutting up the cake and putting them on plates, and then visiting everyone to drop them off.  Everyone was well fed during a time of grocery store craziness (we luckily bought everything before the shortages began), and my Mom got to see her family and the grand babes.  Around 10 pm our meal was cooked and we were eating.

Then shortly after that was the SLC earthquake, and just the mental shock that was.  

March was a crazy month.  Dang.  

It was interesting reading everyone's reactions.  Our questions and confusions.  The unknowns. A little debate here and there.  Crazy enough, even after all this time, there are still a lot of questions and opinions we all have.

So I had a very surreal weekend.  It was just strange watching the progression.  In the texts I made a joke on News Years Eve about hindsight being 2020.  Isn't it, though?  Hindsight is 2020.

I still have to backup April till now, which will be a trip to experience, but I'm giving myself a little brake.  Actually kinda not looking forward to it. 

I don't know what to say.  I literally don't know what to write past this point.  Funny enough I was going out more and visiting more stores at the start of all this than I am now.  Masks give me anxiety, so I can only go to places that let me wear my mask under my nose.  So no Disney Store, no flying in planes, no visiting Disneyland when it opens up, even with my pass.  

I did read a funny moment when the lock downs first happened.  Some news stuff was texted, and one of my brothers wrote, "This just got real."  and then I wrote, "That's it.  I didn't make my bed this morning.  I'm going to go restore some order to this world."  And I did.  And I've made my bed everyday.  My room has been remarkably clean all year.  And that's how I'm managing my feelings.  Controlling what I can.

And with that said, I've officially reached three weeks of no sugary treats.  So some things are going right.  Heh, though I got Panda Express last night, and I did eat the fortune cookie because it only has 2 g of sugar, and my bread is that much per slice, and fortunes don't come true unless you eat them, and my fortune was really cool so I had to eat it: "Your talents will earn you the highest status and prestige."  So I ate it, not the paper, the cookie.  

 

I've Now Lived in Utah as Long as I Lived in California

It's happened.

I'm at a midpoint.

That conundrum of how do I answer when asked, "Where are you from?"

California or Utah?

19 years in both.

California was my youth.  My growing up years.  That's important, right?  

And Utah is my young adult years. Navigating life post primary education.  Equally important.

My family moved to Utah several months before the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City.  We were not expecting on moving at all.  I was attending College of the Sequoias in Visalia California.  Honestly, I loved that school.  They had just finished building a multi-million dollar music building.  Started several new music associate degrees.  And I LOVED that choir.  Having a music degree I've been in a lot of choirs, but that choir from a junior college was my favorite.  Great musical literature.  And we sounded awesome.  Plus the choir director gave me challenging parts.  I mainly sang alto, but also got to sing tenor and second soprano, and it was just so much fun.

I didn't want to move to Utah. At all.  I didn't want to go live where the "Utah Mormons," as we called them then (we call ourselves Latter-Day Saints), lived. There was a stigma that I just didn't want to be apart of.  When I was a kid I vowed never to move to Utah. No joke. I really did.

But my family needed a change, and my Dad decided to put out word in possibly wanting to move to Utah in a couple years.  Putting out the feelers.  That very day his boss was talking to the SLC boss, who said they just had an opening and needed someone.  My Dad asked, two hours later he had a job offer.  When God wants you to move somewhere, the doors flood open.

I could have stayed in California.  Live with my Grandparents and finish my associates.  A good financially responsible choice.  But I prayed, and knew.  I just knew I needed to follow my family to Utah and put my education on hold, which ended up being a 1 1/2 year pause so education was at an affordably manageable rate again.  

Years later it was the right choice.  I'm where I'm meant to be. I love it here.  

And now I'm at that cross road, the further down this road I go my Utah years overshadow my California.  I guess, now, I'm an official Utahn.

But, just so you know, I say the "T" in Mountain.  So my Cali-ness still shows...