On October 9th, hanging out at LAX, my brother, sister-in-law, and I decided we desperately needed real food, after enduring that weird stuff on the plane. I can't remember the name of the restaurant, but it had a lemonade theme, very California, and is in the Delta terminal. I write this because of something that happened. Something probably not worth mentioning, but it's actually been on my mind, and has me contemplating stuff.
When I was in line I first got the broccoli salad and some couscous something or other, and then I decided to get the Salmon. (Insert here, the salmon is cold, but cooked, just to warn you.) But it was taking forever for them to get me the salmon. So I stood and stood while Michael and Krista moved ahead, bought their food, and went to sit down. I was still waiting for the salmon.
After I got it and moved ahead, my eye caught a glimpse of the chocolate cake, and after spending a week in Japan finding difficulty eating stuff, the chocolate cake looked mighty good.
I passed it, and then turned around to get another look, deciding whether the cake was truly worth it. But when I turned around I couldn't see it. Someone was standing right behind me, close, blocking my view. Some guy wearing a purple shirt, a button up dress shirt I believe, and instead I stared at the wall gathering my thoughts. Mainly because I was shocked. But also because of what I was feeling.
I felt that zing. That something. That feeling where you feel molecules move. A feeling I haven't felt in a very, very long time. And it surprised me. And that made me nervous and self conscious. So I stared ahead, afraid to look up. I inquired then to the gal at the counter about the chocolate cake, saying something about we all needing a little cake in our lives, or something like that, and then she handed it to me and I faced the direction of the registers.
I couldn't look up to see who the guy was, so I decided I would walk up to the register and causally glance back, unassuming, and sneak a peak then. But when I got to the counter and looked back, who ever it was was gone.
So it's a mystery.
But, even though it's strange, I'm thankful. Thankful because I haven't been next to a guy in a very long time and felt that. I know this sounds kind of pathetic! But you have to understand my circumstances. When I moved to Utah I joined a singles ward, 19 with the average age around 27. Then when I got to be 27 the singles ward I was then in became young, the average age around 22. And now I'm in the mid-singles ward, and it seems like there's 3-4 girls to every guy. I've given up on love. I didn't realize how much I have truly given up on it.
And for a moment I felt hope.
And I hope now that I may feel it again.
So many girls my age have given up, but I know I can't. Man it's painful, my chest hurts writing this, but I have to cling onto hope. In this modern World so many girls have given up having a family for other pursuits. But I feel there's nothing wrong with wanting a family. Call me old fashioned, because I am. Unashamedly so.
And then this all reminded me of something. See, there's a lot of divorce in my extended family. I have one aunt whose been married seven or so times. And many of my cousins come from broken homes. My Mom's parents divorced, at no fault of my Grandmother, when my Mom was 13. I've learned so much from those around me.
But when I think of my Great Grandma and Great Grandpa, Granny and Gramps, theirs is the greatest love story I've even seen. They celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary and more. It was a special event. There was a huge party. And they deeply loved each other till the very end.
Then after my Gramps passed away I sat down and read his life story that he wrote out with his hand, and I read something that amazed me. "I saw Welma again at the Sheridon store one night and later the neighborhood kids had a party at the store upstairs. Still my heart didn't flip flop. She was just one of the girls." And that's how the greatest love story I've ever seen got started. No flip flops. And I listened to an interview my Mom and Grandma gave my Granny on cassette tape a few years ago. She mentioned she didn't feel any pitter patter when she first saw my Gramps! He was just one of the guys.
I sometimes think modern society gets love all wrong. We think it's all about the flip flops and the pitter patters, but it's not. Those come, but what makes a marriage successful involves so many things. Marriage is complex, and yet simple. Ups, downs, and the in between.
And once again one of the greatest lessons I've learned is thanks to my Great-grandparents. I heard a lady asked once how she kept her marriage together, and she responded, "Back in my day when it was broke we fixed it."
We really need to learn from those who have come before.
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