The Legend of Hercules, Movie Review

Review: 1.5 stars out of 5 stars

* Boogie Dance *

"He was a no one
A zero, zero
Now he's a honcho
He's a hero
Here was a kid with his act down pat
From zero to hero in no time flat." 

~ Disney's Hercules

Um, yeah, wrong Hercules.  Very wrong Hercules, not that I went into this film expecting a fun Disney musical, but then I didn't want a Thor ripoff, either.  And a bad Thor ripoff at that.

The Legend of Hercules is Herc's origin story, that Greek demigod, starting before the conception of his birth, *shudder* they show the moment of his conception, all the way through his various triumphs and so on.  And-So-On . . . so on . . . and a love triangle lacking considerable chemistry and believability, that was the chief motivation of some plot points . . . and so on . . . trying not to get bored . . . mind, don't wonder, please.

Back to this being a bad "Thor" rip off.  A brief explanation: Hercules is played by Kellan Lutz, Herc's brother Iphicles is played by Liam Garrigan, and Herc's stepfather is King Amphitryon played by Scott Adkins.  Literally, while watching the movie I thought, "Hercules is no Chris Hemsworth, that's guys no Tom Hiddleston, and the King doesn't have Anthony Hopkins distinction."  I leaned over to my Mom and told her what I was thinking, and she agreed.  We were silent again, watching with furrowed eyebrows.  The plots are by no means identical, but it sure seemed like the producers were going for that heightened dimension of excellence.  They missed.

The CGI was bad.  Horribly bad.  There's a scene where Hercules wrestles a lion.  I think I was supposed to be on the edge of my seat, or something, instead my mouth gaped.  Then there was the compositing.  Hercules stands atop a gladiator style fighting ring, and from a distant shot you can see he's superimposed, cutout like.

Have I declared my point?  Must I keep writing?

Nope, I'll post this review and keep boogieing to that classic Disney soundtrack.

* Zero to Hero! *

MPAA: Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense combat action and violence, and for some sensuality.

It just felt like a really bad B movie.