Was I sounding at all defeated yesterday? Because, in the back of my mind, I was feeling a little defeated. It's like this total battle with my brain saying one thing, but my heart and fingers saying another. I was hoping for better results, but was disappointed and feeling a little hopeless, but then the other part of me kicks in and is like, "You can do it. Push through! Everyone plateaus and gains weight when making changes." And so forth. Then the doubt comes back in, like can I do it at all? This is all for nothing.
(For those who haven't read my previous posts and have no idea what I'm talking about, I walked/biked/ellipticaled 153 miles last month, and gained 3 pounds accordingly).
The funny thing is, what I'm about to say I've probably already said. One of these days I should go back and read all these posts about health and such just to see the roller coaster and the back and forth. Losing weight and getting healthy truly is a mental game. It's a constant tug between "yes you can, give it time" vs "none of this is working, just quit because it's pointless".
So, even though I will periodically weigh myself as one form of measurement, I'm focusing on more positive things. The fact I got all those miles last month and didn't give up, even though the thought was oh so tempting. The fact I realized that lung medication I was on was hurting my mental health and stopped. (The walking really is helping. The 3rd week of December I only got 9 miles, and by the end of the week my lungs were tight and I was coughing a bit. Right now, late at night, my lungs are feeling pretty good. I theorize the walking causes my lungs to expand with deep breathing, and that's why it's helping).
I do need to get off the sweets again. They're my Achilles heel. But I do feel better, dang it, and it would be funny if I lose weight again as I continue to get miles and incorporate strength training. I'm also increasing my veggie intake. Went to the store and got some greens, so I'm prepped for tomorrow. So that's another thing I'm going to focus on, feeling good through food choices. I may not be losing the weight at the speed I wish, which is one step forward and a million steps back, but how I feel needs to be paramount.
Side note, I went to the store to grab epsom salt, which is why I originally went. Preparing for increased muscle aches. While there I wandered down the hair aisle and noticed an increased amount of hair scrunchies. Scrunchies have always been available, but I haven't used them since I was a kid. Well, there were some cute ones so I got some. The 80's seem to be coming back in many ways. As long as we don't bring back shoulder pads.
Anywho, the future is unclear. So many possibilities (and the scenarios currently running through my head aren't good). Regardless, I'm going to focus on the things within my control. Health is so much more than a number on the scale and a tag stitched to the inside of pants.
Until next time,
Sarah
"Our responsibility is to rise from mediocrity to competence, from
failure to achievement. Our task is to become our best selves. One of
God’s greatest gifts to us is the joy of trying again, for no failure
ever need be final." Thomas S. Monson
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