. . . Day by Day . . .

We live in an interesting time.

I've never been the type of person to run off and get a test when I get sick, which is why I choose not to do so this time.  Until this last year I didn't even know there were tests to see if someone has influenza.  With the pandemic everything has changed.  People run to get tested for a sniffle.  The common cold is still around.  Remember the saying, "The common cold can't be cured"?  But there are still so many unknowns.  

For work, school, and travel I understand the need for tests, it just seems to be controlling everything.  And there's that other topic.  And what's sad is that I don't even know what I'm allowed to say or not say.  What opinions I'm allowed to express or not.  What words I'm allowed to utter.  And why am I being so careful?

I haven't read Brave New World or 1984.  Last year I bought the books just to have, because books are important.  I just haven't read them.  The books seemed important because of the debate between the two: Which prediction will prove true?  From what I've been hearing it seems 1984 won out.  I need to finally read the books to see.

In terms of my health, these last few days have been weird.  I lost my smell Monday night, which freaked me out a little, only to gain it back yesterday.  The first thing I noticed was how much I reeked of peppermint.  It helps clear the sinuses.  I've also been coughing as well.  My appetite has been weird.  I'm not nauseous, just can't eat.  I've lost four pounds in four days.  I got medicine from the doctor to help my lungs, and I've doubled up on Zinc and D3, so I have hope pulling through.  My lungs are a little tight, but I feel my body fighting this.  

It's just fear of history repeating.  In 2019 I had two major respiratory illnesses, one of which I think was the new virus.  The more I hear, the more convinced I am, especially with the cough that wouldn't go away, and then being put on that lung medication that causes mental illness.  Last Summer was a battle.  Working to get my lungs better was a processes, one I don't want to go through again, but life is unpredictable like that.  But I'm going to have hope.  I going to believe I will heal.

Singing makes me cough again, so that will have to wait.  But I will get my lungs back, this is temporary, and I will strengthen my voice and stop being so overprotective.  I've been afraid of causing more damage.  All that coughing...  I couldn't sing for a good chunk of 2019.  Struggled in 2020.  I'm going to fight to get it back.  I'm going to Fight!

Life circles if we let it.  Some of us allow the repeats until we're aware enough and/or brave enough to stop.  We have to be willing to take that leap.

Sarah