Awakening Dreams...

Dreams are fascinating, frustrating, and fun.  They're doorways to our subconscious: worries, aspirations, happenstance, troubles, and random wanderings.  Sometimes they mean something.  Sometimes they simply mean nothing.

There was a period of time I kept having dreams where I was in a burning plane or a plane falling apart.  Another period of time my dreams consisted of wanting to use a bathroom and all the bathrooms were either super filthy, had locked doors, or no doors.  I still occasionally have dreams where I'm in my old childhood home in Porterville, stuck there, trapped, sometimes there's hidden rooms, but it always feels dead-ended.

Recently my recurring dreams of the last few years have dealt with being back in school.  There's a class I'm signed up for, just before graduation, and for some reason I never attend this class and fail.  A couple weeks ago it was a history class.  Honestly I can't remember what the classes were in past dreams, but I think those may have been history as well.

A few weeks ago I had a startling creepy dream.  I was in a school setting again, but a futuristic large building with tall glass walls.  There was a flat walking path ahead to my left and an escalator to my right, and on the sign it said those who hadn't gotten the vax shot (the one for our real world situation) had to go up the escalator.   I was forced up, and at the top was a long table with nurses on both sides.  A nurse came up to me, needle in hand, and before I could react she stuck it in my arm.  I felt shocked and violated.  As I moved from dream to dream I kept looking at my arm expecting something to happen, but nothing did.

(I should mention that one of the dreams I moved into that night involved eating gummy bears, pooping them out, and them turning into a gummy bear army with little swords... so there's that).

My family is an even mix between those who have gotten the virus vs the shot.

Where do I stand?  I got the first shot this last week.  I didn't want to do it.  I was going to wait and see, see what the reactions are and new data, etc.  I looked on the app last Friday and there were no spots.  Completely filled up.  And I thought, "Good, remove that stress."  Then on Saturday, in the afternoon, I got the prompting to check the app again.  A full slate of times opened up, and within a few minutes I was scheduled.

I've been feeling great anxiety over it.  Worried.  Mixed up emotionally to the point my digestive track got involved with the stress.  But I went, shocked I was going at all, shocked I was in the chair, and shocked while I waited to see if there would be any reaction.  So far my right arm is sore, but not much beyond that.

Honestly I don't know how I feel about it, and the fact I went through with it.  I just kinda fell into the motion of it all.  I'm still really nervous about possible outcomes, but it has now happened.  I thoroughly understand why people don't want to take the shot.  For myself I'm just kinda amazed.  A full week ago I never imagined I would have gone through with it, but here I am, sore arm and all.

Anywho, I did stress buy history books off the Amazon Marketplace, 5 books by Mark Girouard: Life in the English Country House, Life in the French Country House, A Country House Companion, The Victorian Country House (hopefully it's the 2nd edition as listed), and The English Town a History of Urban Life.  They're like historical HGTV, but in books!  With pictures.  I'm so excited to get them, but I'll have to rearrange my bookshelves again. :\

Sarah