I'm the stupid one, funny enough, because I'm always setting myself up for failure. Though... I'm referring to myself as stupid in the most loving way possible. So no self hate, just being a little light-hearted.
How did May turn out? It is a tale of dramatic woe in three parts: One (having a hard time getting into the swing of things), two (wake up call followed by an overwhelming despair over whether I can change), and three (turning it around and getting my life in order). From the start of the year I've gained eight pounds, which peaked in the middle of May. After reviewing and changing a few things I've lost four pounds from that point.
Through the ups and downs I realized I need to get back to the basics. I need to simplify things. Forming habits right now is the most important. Little steps. Calorie burn numbers are irrelevant. What is relevant is showing up each day. Do the work. Even if it's small it's the habit that counts, and the practice of doing a little something each day will show lasting, maintainable results.
One of my goals last month was to not weigh myself. This goal was a major fail as I couldn't stop weighing myself. It turned out to be a double edge sword as I stressed over the number, but it also alerted me that I was heading towards a danger zone. My scales (I have two) are now out of my bathroom and have been hidden by a family member. No more temptation. It's now about focusing on accomplishing goals and working towards feeling better and overall health. The scale isn't a proper representation of progress, anyway.
So here are my goals this month, some repeat, some new:
1. Walk 2 miles a day. Last month the goal was to walk a total of 100 miles. Didn't happen. It was overwhelming, and when I wasn't walking enough each day, this number quickly grew to be unattainable. 2 miles is the minimum, as there are days this month I've already walked 3, 5, and even 6 miles. Thursday I wasn't feeling well and missed that day, but that's okay. Just 2 miles a day which is 40 minutes of walking. Totally attainable.
2. Strength train two times a week. Technically three times a week would be fantastic, but this is all about baby steps. This is all about habits. So twice a week!
3. Hiit (high intense interval training) twice a week. There are so many methods on how to achieve this, but for myself I'm running/walking on a treadmill at various speeds.
4. In bed before midnight, which I'm still struggling with. This is all about getting proper sleep and keeping cortisol at normal levels. I kind of wonder if this is why so many people are gaining quarantine weight--stress and messed up sleeping patterns--causing cortisol levels to rise. Better sleep is always good.
5. One sugar treat day a week. (Though if I need a little chocolate is doesn't count against me, or a little coke if I have a migraine, which doesn't happen too often).
6. Keep a health log. Just write all this stuff down and stay accountable.
That seems like a good list. At the end of the month I'll take measurements, but won't weigh myself, which will be challenging. But it can be done. It will be done. Focus on how I feel.
"In any case you mustn't confuse a single failure with a final defeat." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
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