(Picture I took from an Apple Farm, San Luis Obispo, bumper sticker.)
Here is a list of things I've learned while being single on Valentine's Day.
1. Valentine's to some is considered "Single Awareness Day." I've fallen into this trap many times, bemoaning and crying woe. Some years are easier then others, but singleness is a state of mind. Is being in a relationship nice? Sure. Is being single bad? Only if you want to think it is. We are each on a journey. We are each walking different paths that are meant specifically for each of us. My path expects me to wait. My path is teaching me patience. But I would rather wait and find the right special someone, then rush into love for the sake of love, only to be miserable. Singlehood isn't bad. In many ways it can be a blessing.
2. As what I stated in my first point, not all relationships are good. There are happy couples. There are unhappy couples. It would be nice to be in a happy relationship, but I would rather be happy single then be in a bad marriage or a bad relationship. No marriage is perfect. No marriage is really great. Marriage is a whole lot of work. I would love to be married and have children. At 32 my maternal years are ticking by, and time isn't worth squandering. But if I can't be happy single, I'll never be happy married. Happiness is a choice. Being happy in situations you can't control will prepare you for all situations, that which is in your control and that which is not.
3. Choose to be happy. This is a day for love! Not all "love" has to be romantic. There are so many varying degrees. Don't focus on the love you don't have, focus on the love you do have. Family and friendship. Great siblings. Wonderful parents and grandparents. I have two adorable nieces and a nephew. I definitely love them. Celebrate love today in all its wonderful, beautiful shades and colors.
4. You don't have to have a romantic partner to eat chocolate on Valentine's Day. No sign, anywhere, states that on February 14th only those in a relationship are allowed to eat yummy chocolate morsels of goodness. Go buy chocolate and devour it whole! Go buy chocolate for the person you thought of while reading point #4. Or wait until February 15th to buy chocolate, which brings me to point #5.
5. On February 15th all the sad, forlorn Valentine trinkets and chocolate boxes of goodness which was not purchased beforehand will now be on sale! Fantastic deals abound! Which means all that money you saved by not spending it on a significant other can all go towards discounted chocolate. Awesome, right? Enjoy!
6. Remember, as sad and lonely as you may feel, the World is filled with many sad and lonely people. Meaning, there's a lot of single people out there, young and old. Those who have never been afforded love, or those who have lost love through time. When feeling pain it's easy to forget that others are feeling pain as well. Some feel their pain silently, some are vocal, but it's all the same.
7. The greatest joy in life is found through giving, not receiving. You may not receive a Valentine's Day card or flowers today. You may start to feel forgotten, but today you can be the person who brings joy to someone else. You can be the one who will reach out to a sad brother or sister, friend, widowed Grandmother, lonely Mom, etc, and bring them happiness. Through giving love you receive it. That's the wonderful thing about love. It grows and multiplies. Love is beautiful like that.
Happy Valentines Day from one "lonely" person to another. But we're not so lonely anymore, are we? I refuse to feel lonely today. I'm loved. Sure, there won't be loads of kissing and so forth, but I'm loved just the same, and I'm thankful for all of it. Find someone today you can give love.
"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other."
~ Audrey Hepburn
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