My Grandmother passed away yesterday. Ravenna Stufflebeam, 1934 to 2017.
I haven't seen her in awhile. Her dementia got really bad and I stopped visiting as often, which I regret.
My Dad just had surgery, which he's recovering really well from, and as he left the hospital Wednesday he learned Grandma Stuff took a turn for the worst. We were planning on visiting her yesterday, but learned she passed away that morning.
(Somewhere in the Wasatch Mountains)
Yesterday I was filled with many emotions, some unexpected. Happy she's passed, because of all the pain she's been in. She's with my Grandfather now, who passed several years ago. I have zero doubt of an afterlife, and I know she's at peace. How wonderful it must be. How beautiful. Surrounded by her family and friends, getting ready to do whatever work she and my Grandpa are called to perform. Heaven's a busy place.
What surprised me was the anger and pain I felt. Long story, but growing up in Porterville I was persecuted for being LDS. When we moved to Utah to get to know my Dad's side of the family I was so excited to get to know them, to finally be accepted for who I am. But then some of my extended family persecuted me for being a shy introverted bookworm. Family get-togethers became unbearable. I thought I had forgiven my Grandparents for the role they played, but my feelings came back with a vengeance. Before going to bed I prayed for help to let go and forgive, and all last night I tossed and turned until 4am, when suddenly all the angst and frustration left my body and I felt peace. And I know my Grandma's really sorry. And I'm sorry, too.
So I'm going to remember the good times!
(My two Grandma's)
Sadly I wasn't as close to my Grandma Stuff as I am with my Grandma A and Grandpa R, who I grew up with. but here and there I have scattered memories.
I remember visiting once when they lived in Reno and visiting Circus Circus. At some point we visited my Grandparents when they lived in Salt Lake. It snowed! And I thought that was the grandest thing!! Of course now I'm overwhelmingly cynical towards snow, but we went sledding, and that was a lot of fun.
(Mayon Volcano, Philippines, 1995)
I remember all the family gathering right before my Grandparents left to serve a mission in the Philippines and having a large meal at a restaurant. Driving home to California was scary as we drove through a legit blizzard. I still have visuals of cars sliding off the I-15, very limited visibility.
When they got back they didn't really share many stories. There was one event that my Grandma told over and over. In once place they stayed there was a pig that ran around quite merrily. When my Grandparents were about to transfer to another area my Grandma noticed the pig was no longer anywhere to be seen. The family who served them their farewell dinner served pork, and when my Grandma realized the pork was the cute little pig she couldn't eat it.
My Dad all spiffed up for his performance in Carmen, which was done in English. He was a smuggler.
Right before my Grandpa died they went to many events and shows and had a booth. They sold swords, and when Grandpa passed and bought a few. They also got into jewelry making. The two wire work pieces my Grandpa did. The red jasper piece, I think that's the stone, my Grandma made in a class. I don't think she liked going to the shows. When I went to my Uncle and Aunts home where she was staying to get a couple pieces after my Grandfather passed we talked, and that's probably the closest I really felt to her. She softened a lot after he passed.
After that my Dad would regularly pick her up, and I tagged along now and then, taking her to the movies, out to eat, up into the mountains, or anything else we felt like doing.
I'm very thankful that I got to spend those moments with her.
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