April - December 2021 Health Goals: Last Health Post for 9 Months

9 months.  That takes me through the end of the year, so my next health post will be in January 2022.

I've just realized that I need to stop blogging about this, simply because there's natural highs and lows to the weight loss process, and posting is getting me too caught up in the lows.  Reporting an off month, or more, threw me off, and now I'm getting back on track.

These 9 months are going to be a discovery process.  I've been watching a lot of YouTube videos and reading articles online, so there's a lot of things I want to try.  "Calories in/Calories out" keeps popping up.  "You have to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight."  I don't like counting calories, but it's come to the point where I need to try.  It's not long term.  Get a sense of what I'm eating.  Play it by ear.

I'm also going to weigh myself everyday.  Bought a scale to replace the one I threw out in frustration awhile back.  But... what I'll be doing is paying attention to my average weight.  So weigh everyday, divide by 7, and track that number to see if it shifts down, maintains, or goes up, and analyze accordingly.

A fun challenge I'm giving myself is to take all my cookbooks (went a little crazy on Amazon marketplace a few years back) and make 3 recipes from each book by the end of the year.  Though I also got historical cookbooks as well, so that will be interesting.  I got the Food Network Kitchen app and paid for the upgrade to get more recipes and instruction videos.

With exercising, I'm not going crazy like last December.  Learned my lesson!  This will be trial and error, but my goal is to find a balance.  Walking, elliptical, indoor bike, and strength training.  I have quite a few exercise DVD's, plus Amazon Prime, plus YouTube, so I'm just going to have fun.  Do a strength workout 2-3 times a week, a new one each time, and just have fun discovering what I like vs not like.

There's a lot here to keep me busy.  I'm not giving up.  But I do need to chart and experiment quietly.  In January I'll say how it all went.  What worked.  What didn't.  There will be no before and after photos, as that's just something I don't want to do.  Doing it for myself privately, and that's good.

These next several months will be interesting.

Wish me luck!!!  And good luck on your goals.

Sarah

March Health Journey 2021: Set Points and Set Backs

Main goal this month... be real with myself.

Be honest.

What are my weaknesses? 

What keeps tripping me up?

This last month didn't quite go as planned.  A couple things fell into place for this to happen.  First of all was all that walking I did last December.  To achieve the 153 mile goal in December, to guarantee 500 miles in 2020, I was walking/Biking/Ellipticaling 3-4 hours a day.  It was too much.  I crashed in the beginning of January.  Picked myself up and started working out again, and then got off track again after getting back from St. George at the end of January.  What followed was a couple weeks of depression and an anxiety attack.

During this whole time I didn't weigh myself, trying to distance myself from the value of numbers.  It also meant that I wasn't keeping myself in check.  Also during this time, which started in December when my Grandma passed, I started eating chocolate mindlessly.  There was a lot of chocolate in the house, and I was eating it here and there just not thinking about it.  It wasn't until a week ago that I realized chocolate was affecting me.  I'm not an over eater.  I don't snack.  I don't eat late.  But... I mindlessly eat chocolate.  

A week ago I grabbed the scale to get a reality check and... I've topped my highest weight ever.  My feelings are mixed: Anger, frustration, and numbness.

I'm not treating chocolate like the enemy.  Chocolate is okay, but what I'm not going to allow is mindless eating.  Chocolate will be saved for special treats.

Also, having the reaction to carrots a couple months ago really set me back.  After going through what I went through while overcoming Interstitial Cystitis, which created food fears and caused me to gain 40 pounds in a year because I couldn't exercise without causing pain, I was suddenly fearing food again.  Oh, that pain the carrot caused was the worst in years.  I don't want to fear food.  (I'm not quite in the clear with IC, but it is so, so, sooooooooooooo much better.  I have a life again.)

I've been researching set points, and I'm just confused about it.  It feels like this theory is legit, because it explains what I've been through for the last several years.  Literally every single international trip I took from 2015-2019 I weighed the exact weight nearly to the ounce, every single trip, and that's with exercising, watching what I eat, etc.  I'm terrified my set point has shifted upwards.  I don't want to think about it.  But I have watched a couple videos that say it is a theory and that some people don't quite believe it.  I want to believe there's hope.

So pretty much this month is working in getting back on track with exercising, and not overdoing it!!!!  No more burnouts.  The Route 66 goal for the end of the year has been pushed back to June of 2022, an extra 6 months.  Just do the work, no stress.  

Weight loss is a marathon, not a sprint.

Sarah

February 2021 Health Goals: Celebrating The Journey

I just got back from a short trip to St. George Utah.  Went with my Mom and Aunt to visit my Uncle, and it was a nice visit.  Didn't get any exercise, but that's okay.  The first morning I tried walking the hotel hallway, but doing so while wearing a mask was too cumbersome, so that didn't last long.  Thankfully I'm still on track with the Route 66 mile challenge.

Lao Tsu said: "Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step."  Sometimes I get so caught up with the destination that the journey is swept aside.  It seems more of an hindrance than an opportunity for memories.  When it comes to health goals I focus on losing pounds.  Up pops the Time and Date website, open the "calculation between dates" calculator, and the number crunching begins.  If so and so weeks are between these two dates, and I lose a pound each week, than I'll weight x amount of pounds by this date.  And so forth.  I torture myself with projections, and then nothing happens.  Time passes.  Desired progress isn't achieved.

Wanting to achieve an ideal finish point is one I must erase from my head.  Visualization is good.  But... I'm focusing too much on where I want to be that I've lost touch with where I am.  Each day is an experience.  Each day we get to celebrate the little moments in our lives.

If there was one measurable goal I would like to achieve this year, it would simply be losing ten inches off my waist.  According to waist and height calculations that would put me in the normal range.  And according to some websites 4 pounds lost = an inch.  And there I go calculating and setting end points!!!  

Heh, well, this will be a process.  More and more I'm enjoying the exercise.   I haven't incorporated strength training, so that's the next hurdle.  It'll be good.  0_0 ... :P

Sarah

“If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward." ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

 

Getting Off the Intermittent Fasting Bandwagon

I promise this is the last health post I do until next month!!  It's been pretty much all I've been thinking about.

Also, I should note, I'm not a health expert or dietician, so take what I say with a grain of salt.  I'm just someone figuring stuff out.

I've been intermittent fasting since the start of the pandemic.  All through Spring, Summer, and up till now I've only been eating two meals.  All through spring I wasn't eating out and was eating home cooked meals.  Learned how to make chicken milanese, which is yummy.  During this time I was off and on again with sugar.  My exercise was a mess up till these last few months.  What happened?  I gained pandemic weight, and this weight didn't come off until I upped my walking and went without sugar sweets for 7 weeks.  Intermittent fasting did nothing for me.

Why I wanted to intermittent fast:  One is because I don't like eating breakfast.  Breakfast is annoying, so a way of eating that gets rid of my least favorite meal was alluring.  Also, intermittent fasting helps stabilize blood sugar levels.  Eating throughout the day, mini meals, causes insulin levels to remain high.

What I've learned along the way:  Now, this is a collection of stuff from random sources, so check all this information out yourself.   Intermittent fasting can help get rid of fat, but it also eats away from lean muscle as well, which isn't good.  As a women I.F. affects hormones, so I've had issues in this area.  There's more reasons than this, but if you're concerned it's probably better to seek out a more trustworthy source than I, though there are experts on both sides of the aisle.  It comes down to finding what is best for you.

All I know is that intermittent fasting doesn't work for me.  It works for many, I'm just not one.  Getting reacquainted with breakfast will be a challenge, as I have food allergies tied to many morning foods.   Maybe I should just eat non breakfast food for breakfast.  Chili is yummy.  Also, I made steal cut oats for breakfast.  Takes forever to make, but it's a good morning option.  

Really, my goal is to develop a good balanced way of eating that's healthy, practical, and manageable.  I don't want any extremes, just good habits while being realistic. 

Sarah

Attacked by Carrots

Who knew being healthy would be so dangerous?

Who knew allergies/intolerance to carrots was a thing?

About three years ago I had a scare.  A painful scare.  And I was all alone.  My Mom was working on fixing up my Grandpa's property in Riverside CA.  My Dad was at work.  My Grandpa was still alive and living in an RV next to our house.  For that week I was the sole person taking care of my Grandpa and he was making all these crazy demands, like wanting me to drive to McDonald's at 9 pm in a snow storm to get him hot fries.  I didn't do it.  Driving at night while it's snowing can be pretty scary.  

During that time I would check up on him several times a day, making sure he had everything, and getting him what he needed.  It was late in the day when I was eating carrots and hummus and then, all of a sudden, the most excruciating pain hit just below my heart behind my ribs.  It was scary, and I could barely move.  I wondered if it was the food, but then I surmised that it might have been a panic attack.

Since then I've mainly had carrots cooked, and when they were raw I would get a little pain, but brushed it aside.  Well, today I had another full blown attack, and it happened just after eating a full carrot.  The pain hitting where the esophagus and stomach meet, the pain intensely pulsing from that point up to my mouth. 

My Mom called my brother Michael who has a lot of allergies, and he told my Mom to immediately give me two benadryl and a claritin.  He came over and gave me a blessing, and we talked for a while as my symptoms slowly abated.  He also can't have carrots raw.

I looked it up, and though carrot allergies are on the rare side here, it's more common in Europe.

So mystery solved.  I can't have raw carrots, and whether or not cooked carrots are okay will have to be determined with experiments and trials.

Crazy scary stuff.  Learned a new thing today.  So now I have a new challenge to work through and figure out.  I finished off my Christmas chocolate today, so I'm going on another sweets fast, as sugar causes inflammation and other problems.  My lower esophagus feels a lot better, it just feels really bruised at the moment.

So it's almost 10:30 pm, and I didn't sleep at all this afternoon, even with the two benadryl and claritin.  Didn't want to mess up my sleeping cycle.

I'm not writing this as a complaint.  It is what it is.  More as information.  For three years I've been having on again/off again problems.  Some of the problems are still unsolved, but this mystery is closed. 

There's so much we just don't know, both about ourselves personally and other medical stuff.  How many others out there are having pain and can't figure it out?  Sometimes our problems can be simple things that are overlooked.  For me it was a root vegetable hiding behind the label of good health.

Getting healthy isn't a one size fits all, which is apart of the frustration.  We are all different, and we all have different challenges.  Some obvious and some hidden.

So good luck with whatever you're struggling with.  Don't lose hope.  Don't give up.

And I seriously need to get to sleep.  As frustrating as it is that I have to figure this whole carrot thing out, it's nice knowing I have a problem with them, as the only way to fix a problem is to first be aware of the fact that there is a problem.  Everything will fall into place.  I'll work it out.

Have a good day,

Sarah

A Changing Mindset

Was I sounding at all defeated yesterday?  Because, in the back of my mind, I was feeling a little defeated.  It's like this total battle with my brain saying one thing, but my heart and fingers saying another.  I was hoping for better results, but was disappointed and feeling a little hopeless, but then the other part of me kicks in and is like, "You can do it.  Push through!  Everyone plateaus and gains weight when making changes."  And so forth.  Then the doubt comes back in, like can I do it at all?  This is all for nothing.

(For those who haven't read my previous posts and have no idea what I'm talking about, I walked/biked/ellipticaled 153 miles last month, and gained 3 pounds accordingly).

The funny thing is, what I'm about to say I've probably already said.  One of these days I should go back and read all these posts about health and such just to see the roller coaster and the back and forth.  Losing weight and getting healthy truly is a mental game.  It's a constant tug between "yes you can, give it time" vs "none of this is working, just quit because it's pointless".

So, even though I will periodically weigh myself as one form of measurement, I'm focusing on more positive things.  The fact I got all those miles last month and didn't give up, even though the thought was oh so tempting.  The fact I realized that lung medication I was on was hurting my mental health and stopped.  (The walking really is helping.  The 3rd week of December I only got 9 miles, and by the end of the week my lungs were tight and I was coughing a bit.  Right now, late at night, my lungs are feeling pretty good.  I theorize the walking causes my lungs to expand with deep breathing, and that's why it's helping).

I do need to get off the sweets again.  They're my Achilles heel.  But I do feel better, dang it, and it would be funny if I lose weight again as I continue to get miles and incorporate strength training.  I'm also increasing my veggie intake.  Went to the store and got some greens, so I'm prepped for tomorrow.  So that's another thing I'm going to focus on, feeling good through food choices.  I may not be losing the weight at the speed I wish, which is one step forward and a million steps back, but how I feel needs to be paramount.

Side note, I went to the store to grab epsom salt, which is why I originally went.  Preparing for increased muscle aches.  While there I wandered down the hair aisle and noticed an increased amount of hair scrunchies.  Scrunchies have always been available, but I haven't used them since I was a kid.  Well, there were some cute ones so I got some.  The 80's seem to be coming back in many ways.  As long as we don't bring back shoulder pads.  

Anywho, the future is unclear.  So many possibilities (and the scenarios currently running through my head aren't good).  Regardless, I'm going to focus on the things within my control.  Health is so much more than a number on the scale and a tag stitched to the inside of pants.

Until next time,

Sarah

"Our responsibility is to rise from mediocrity to competence, from failure to achievement. Our task is to become our best selves. One of God’s greatest gifts to us is the joy of trying again, for no failure ever need be final." Thomas S. Monson

2021 Health Goals: Operation Not Giving Up

I did it!  I set the crazy task of achieving 153.55 miles this last month, so I can have 500 miles for the whole year, and finished yesterday morning with 153.77 miles.  Now, that's counting walking, elliptical, and indoor bike, but on the machines I count an 18 mile minute, even though the machine reads more.  So... yeah, weird brain math out of thin air, but I didn't want to discourage myself from using the machines when they're available.  Walking around the house or on the treadmill for 153 miles would have been unbearable.  

So, goal achieved.  And how do I feel?  Tired.  Really, really tired.  So tired I fell asleep last night at 9:30 pm, making me a fuddy-duddy.  I tried so hard to stay up.  Even the constant fireworks from 9 to midnight couldn't keep me awake.  And then I woke up really thirsty this morning, so I'm not replenishing enough.  I might have drank a good 30 oz this morning.

Before drinking all that water I did weigh myself and get measurements.  In the last month I actually gained 3 pounds, but my measurements are the same, so I weigh what I did last February.  It's frustrating.  Maybe I'm gaining muscle?  Maybe I'm retaining water?  I have had sweets these last couple weeks, but I don't go crazy with them, and I still forbid cereals and juice.  But I've been dealing with stresses and grief, so maybe there's some cortisol action going on.

Now that I've established an exercise habit, I'll scale back a little, but getting miles isn't so overwhelming now, which is good because I'm doing a 2280 Route 66 challenge.  Daunting, but I got a head start a few weeks ago in case I get sick this year, or go on a trip.  As of yesterday I've completed about 7% of the challenge with 148.8 miles achieved, and have 2,131.5 miles remaining.  I'm not converting elliptical or bike miles for this challenge, so bike miles are really going to help.  The goal is to finish by the end of the year.

I also know I need to make new challenges, because the only way I'm going to lose weight is with diet and gaining more muscle, which means a focus on healthy eating and strength training.  I suspect I have insulin resistance, but I don't have insurance so I can't get my hormones checked.  Just guessing in the dark combined with past experiences and other stuff.  I really wish I could get a blood test and see the levels.  It would answer so many questions.  I also wonder if I might have thyroid problems, or the start of one, as it runs on both sides of my family.  But even if I did I couldn't do anything about it, anyway.  So I gotta be smart and do what I can.

So, to summarize, 2021 goals = * Complete the Route 66 mile challenge. * incorporate strength training to increase muscle, which will limit muscle loss while losing weight, and will also increase insulin sensitivity. * Study nutrition, explore already owned but not used cookbooks, and improve my eating. (Throwing in here that I probably should learn to love cooking, because I currently really don't, hence falling back on fast food, quick meals, and bad habits).

Also, I saw in a video, and read online, that if you walk for 15 minutes after a meal it helps with blood sugars, which must also help with insulin sensitivity, too?  Need to read more into it.  But walking after meals would be a good goal, too. 

That's the main focus.  Trying not to get discouraged.  I was hoping to lose weight with all those miles last month which I got by walking, elliptical, and indoor bike riding.  Bummed I gained a few pounds.  But it is what it is. 

I wish people would be kinder to us who are overweight.  I've probably watched too many videos and read too much stuff online.  Just because we're overweight doesn't mean we're lazy and not trying.  Many of us are, and it's so frustrating.  It's a constant battle that's always going uphill and never flattens.

No matter how frustrating this process is, I'm not giving up.

Sarah 

 

December Health Goals: Operation Serotonin!

We're less than a month now until the start of 2021 and everyone begins their resolutions.  Crazy sauce.

Needless to say a lot of my 2020 resolutions have been tossed to the side, but there's still a month, and there's still time to make this year a positive.  One of my goals was 500 miles walked.  I've only done 336.45, so that leaves 163.55 to go.

Now, as with time goals change.  I want to get my miles, which would require 7.5 miles a day with two rest days a week.  I got 8.7 miles on Monday and 8.1 miles yesterday.  The way I'm going about earning has changed.  For walking I use the Nike+ app, which is really good for tracking indoor and outdoor miles.  But with starting iFit workouts I'm also doing the elliptical machine and a spinning bike.  For those I've decided to count 18 minutes on the machines as a mile, which is considerably less then the mileage the readouts say.

The benefit to all this is all the serotonin I'm going to get in the process.  Heh, though the one thing I've experienced these last couple days is feeling very tired.  It will be interesting to see how this month progresses.  But I'm determined.  Totally going to do this.

I'm working through a Conqueror Event for a Mount Fuji medal.  The medal is seriously one of the prettiest I've ever seen.    Pretty bling is a motivation.  I'm already over 50% towards the goal, and on Monday I did the iFit Mount Fuji Hiking workouts 2-7, back to back.  Such a workout!!  All on the elliptical, which is probably easier than the treadmill, but afterwords I felt tired good.

After Mount Fuji I'm going to brave Route 66, which is 2,280 miles which I'll either start this month or next, but the goal is to get all the miles by the end of 2021.  For that, and with Fuji, I am counting the full miles earned while biking and doing the elliptical, and not the 18 min to mi conversion.  Having the indoor bike is the only way I could complete the challenge.  It's a bucket item to road trip the whole length of Route 66, so it's cool to be able to say I biked, walked, and did the elliptical for the full length.  Now, granted, I don't know how accurate the mileage readouts are for the machines, but I'm not going to stress about it.  

So next year I'm not worrying about losing weight.  I'm still going to track weight as a measurement, but the true measurement I'll be doing next year will be mile based.

So, yay, fun crazy goals are afoot, and by the end of it I'll have worked through all the iFit workouts I've saved in my favorites.  (There's SO MANY!!)  I'm traveling the World from the comfort of home, but I really do hope to be able to go on a trip next year.  Feeling so land locked.

And ALL that serotonin is going to help me in so many ways. :D

I'll let you know New Years how I did. 0_0

Sarah

November Health Goals: Just Trying To Make Sense of It All

Well, what a crazy time we're living in, right?

In other news I've lost... 9.7 pounds from my highest!!!  :D  Almost ten.  Close enough.  And two inches from my waist.  I'm pre-2020 weight!!!

Heh, I did have sugar.  Didn't make it to January 1st, but I did make it a whole seven weeks, which is an accomplishment.  I plateaued for several weeks, so I realized I needed to give my body a break.  For a whole week I didn't walk and allowed myself sweets, and the next week, a couple days ago, fearing for the worst at my latest weigh in I ended up losing two pounds!  Now, could it be from loss of muscle?  Maybe.  Or maybe the loss of stressing had a positive effect.  Also possible.

So, yeah.

But I also realized something startling.  Earlier this year I mentioned how my lungs have been affected by two respiratory illnesses I had in 2019 of unknown origin.  In May I finally went to the doctor to address my squeezed lungs and coughing.  I was put on Montelukast.  I've been struggling all Summer and Autumn with depression and dark thoughts, plus having a hard time sleeping at night feeling unsettled and a dark creepy feeling, needing at times a nightlight and calming music to help me sleep.

I got this really strong feeling to stop taking my medication.  After two weeks I noticed that those night time feelings have gone away, and I was suddenly sleeping much easier.  No longer needing a nightlight and no longer getting that dark presence feeling.

Well, I finally looked up my medicine and found this: "FDA strengthens warning about mental health side effects linked to montelukast." And then in another article, "Those taking montelukast who exhibit mood changing behaviors should immediately report symptoms to a healthcare provider. These can include bad or vivid dreams, depression, disorientation or confusion, feeling anxious, hallucinations, irritability, restlessness, stuttering, and uncontrolled muscle movements."

It's frustrating.  Apparently it really affects kids, but also affects adults.  So, it's really hard not getting really upset, wondering "was it the drug all this time that ramped up my self loathing and feelings of worthlessness?  That was creeping me out at night and making it difficult to sleep?  Or is it all in my imagination?"  I'm sleeping better now, but still battling dark thoughts, but they are easing.  Really, I'm just feeling numb.

And since I've given up this lung medication my squeezed lungs and coughing has returned.  It's not as bad as earlier this year, but still a bother.  I don't want to go to the doctor, so I'm going the natural route to see if that can help.  I hate breathing in a feeling of pressure, afraid to cough and irritate my throat, which then affects my singing.  But it is what it is right now. I'm just figuring this out as I go along.  Those illnesses last year did it to me, so hopefully my lungs will eventually heal from all that trauma.

Well, I'm getting myself back and figuring things out.  Yesterday I found "The Power of Starting Something Stupid" by Richie Norton on my bookshelf.  Got it eons ago and forgot all about it, never read it, but the book's spine jumped out at me, and I knew it was time for it to be in my life.  Already on page 49, and what have I learned thus far?  I've been living in a holding, waiting pattern way too long.  Need to stop that.

President Russell M. Nelson uploaded a video yesterday, "On the Healing Power of Gratitude."  He challenged everyone to write on social media everyday for a week something we are grateful for.  I'm really not active at all on social media, but I have this blog I've yet to abandon, so starting tomorrow, everyday for a week, I will write about something I'm thankful for.

Until next time, Truth Will Out,

Sarah

 

October Health Goals: Just Keep Moving

Keeping this short and sweet.

Last week I declared my intention of going 101 days with no sugary treats.  Guess what!  I'm still at it.  Haven't had one yet.  And trust me, it's not easy.  Both Tuesday and Thursday of this last week has been tough.  Tuesday was an especially hard day, but I didn't give in.  I was like, "Body, I love you.  I don't hate you.  But I won't let you control me."  On the back of my door I have taped the written words "Spirit Over Body," so that's my focus.  

It is interesting, because with all the emotions I've been dealing with this week, I wanted to eat sugar to calm and mask those emotions.  Side step and avoid them a little with giving into tasty pleasures.  This is something I've known about me, this tendency to eat sweets when I'm depressed, sad, overwhelmed, or feeling anxiety.  Sugar is my go to distraction.  I was feeling all these emotions and couldn't satisfy the cravings.  Instead I sat there and dealt with the emotions.  Just felt them.  There was also a really nice drive, twice, to Sundance and back, which helped lift my mood.

Also, I believe I said I was going to aim for 5 miles of walking a day.  I realized by the end of last week my body was in serious need of a rest, so I amended my goal to 25 miles a week, which works out to 100 miles a month.  I did my 25 miles last week, and I have 2.5 miles left for this week.

What are the results?  A few weeks ago I hit my highest weight of all time for a third time, which scared me into action, and I'm down 4 1/2 pounds, plus I'm down an inch around my waist.  It's working.  I'm still only eating two meals a day, as I just don't seem to want to eat before 11 am, and that's with walking 5 miles every morning.  My two meals I do eat are normal.

A tiny bit of why I've been sad this week was because my Mom and I planned a trip for Hawaii to visit Kauai.  We planned and scheduled everything last May, getting good prices and ocean view rooms.  I've never been to Hawaii, and was hoping it would work out.  At the end of June my Mom and I searched news sites and realized we would probably still be dealing with this "stuff" in September/October, so we canceled and was able to get a refund.  If the trip was still on we would have left at the end of last week, returning next week.  I know it's a silly thing to be sad about, there's so many terrible things happening all over, but I'm still a little sad.  Someday?  Hopefully.

Anywho, I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing.  Establishing a habit.  Then when I'm in the groove with no sugary treats and tons of walking, I'll throw in strength training and other stuff.

One step at a time. Literally.

101 Day No Sugary Treat Challenge

Heh, I'm serious about this.  I'm really doing it.  101 days of no sugary sweets and treats.  I'm already 2 days down.  Two whole days.  That's a lot.  I've just got 99 more days to go...

And now my life has turned into "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of..." 

Why 101 days?  It's just a good solid number.  Just over 3 months, which I've done before, so this time I want to go just a little bit further.  It also takes me through December 31st, which is my last day.  New Years Day I go to one treat a week.

Along with this I'm walking 5 miles a day.  Last Monday I walked 6 miles, yesterday I walked 5 miles, and it really does help me mentally.  I keep wanting to throw in strength training, which is important, but at the moment this is enough, though ... I'll most likely incorporate a program soon.

This year has been a process of changing my brain.  Finding what works and what doesn't.  Making myself mentally stronger.  Changing my viewpoint.  I'm much stronger now then I was a few months back.

I'm nervous of failing, but I already passed my first trial of temptation, and on day one, too.  Heh, only a couple days ago.  We took my Grandma to Dairy Queen, because it's her favorite, and I REALLY wanted to try the caramel apple pie shake.  I had the pumpkin pie shake a week back, and it was dang good.  Ahh!  But I passed.  I didn't cave!  Though, admittedly, I was a little sad for a few minutes while everyone in the car ate their treats.

Once we get to the holidays I'm going to struggle.  But one day at a time.  Spirit over body.  Focus on how I feel, and how I don't always like how I feel when I eat sugar.  I'm developing inner strength.  Mental fortitude.  I'm getting healthy and overcoming cravings and desires.  But really, I'm going to accomplish something that for me is really, really difficult, and I'll come out stronger on the other side.

September Health Goals: Walking Just Might Save My Life

It seems like these last several months hasn't so much been about progress, as it has been about understanding.  Figuring out what works.  Figuring out what will help me get better.

I'm definitely an eat sweets when I'm stressed kind of person.  Last month when I said I wanted to go a full 90 days without eating sweets I was walking.  Then the weekend came and I didn't walk, and all the cravings came back full force.  Now, this isn't to say that walking always staves off cravings, because there are days when it doesn't, but it is a huge help.

Walking is my most favorite form of exercise, probably because it's easy and I can consume a form of entertainment in the process: streaming a show while on a treadmill or something audio while walking around.  Also it's always good to get outside when the weather is nice to enjoy nature.  The problem is I'm not consistent.  There are weeks where I'm super motivated and will get 40+ miles in a week, followed by 2 weeks of nothing.  But when I do walk consistently I've found that my cravings are easier to control, my mood more stabilized, more motivation in other areas of my life, and I just feel better.

There was this habit book I read a while back, it might have been Atomic Habits, maybe, where it said that if you find a key habit to improve it triggers other good habits naturally.  I think walking consistently could be my key trigger habit.  

So that's what I'm going to focus on this month.  Also, I got a book called Stretching to Stay Young, which I'm going to work through.  I actually really hate stretching and foam rolling, but it's a necessity.

So, yeah, still trudging forward.  Not giving up.  

Changing My Mind, Again. -_-;;

It's two in the morning as I write this.  This is sorta becoming a habit!  Not a good habit.  Classical music is playing from a streamed station, the notes clashing, weird 21st century crap.  I prefer notes when they're a little more harmonious.  A little more pleasant to the ears.

Heh, um...

My quest for health is one of temptation and woe, mingled with side steps and whatnot's.  A search for the sustainable and realistic, mostly.  That's the frustrating thing about losing weight and getting healthy.  We're all so different!  Our bodies are different!  Foods and exercise affects us all differently.  What works for one person doesn't work for another.  And that is why the health industry is worth billions.  

In my last blog post or so I said I was going to go 90 days without sweet treats.  Then I did the math, realized it was going over a couple birthdays plus Halloween, and that I was being unrealistic.  Really, what I realized is that I was feeling a low level of anxiety over it.  Like this under the skin vibration of sort, putting me on edge.  I felt it with my one treat a week goal as well.  This is probably why I keep failing at this goal.  But over the weekend I decided that I'll allow myself two treat days a week, one on the weekend and one during the week, spreading it out.  This isn't go crazy over treats, just that I'm allowed a little ice cream, or brownie, or whatever, within reason.  Twice a week.  When I made this change that under the skin anxiety feeling went away, so maybe this plan will work.  I'm also aiming for walking a 5k everyday.

(Okay, the music is getting ridiculous.  Weird Neo-classical harpsichord stuff.  Turned it off and turned on some Brahms.  Much better.)

I'm also making some changes this week.  We'll, deep diving in learning and skill developing.  My main focus right now is wanting to improve my writing, so I created a crash course writing workshop from online resources focusing on grammar, story telling, building sentences, and short story crafting.  There will be writing exercises and short story reading assignments.  I need to throw in some punctuation study as well, as it still baffles me.   I'm also going to start learning Photoshop, video editing, audio editing, and other useful skills, but not all at once.  There's a lot of stuff I want to do.  There's a lot of stuff I need to do.  Can't forget music learning as well.  I want to create both instrumental music and vocal music.  And get my YouTube going again.  A lot of dreams.  A lot of projects.

Anywho, I should finish this up and head to bed.  I get spooked sometimes and have a hard time sleeping.  Gotta go brave the night.  Heh... 0_0 ... -_- zzzzzz

"If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely." Roald Dahl

August Health Goals: Conquering the Brain

One day I'll look back at this.  One day I'll look back and remember all these failures, and it will be a testament that failing multiple times is what led to my ultimate success.

Turns out it's harder to get back on track after getting off track.  July wasn't horrible by any means.  It just happened.  Came and went.  C'est la vie.  Au revoir.

And we're already a third into this month, which is crazy.

Much of my goals are the same.  What is different is my approach, certain realizations.  I've been taking huge note of my mental space.  The tricks happening in my brain, much of which I'll keep private, such as false beliefs that began in my young twenties.  Lies I created by false observations that hurt my self-esteem and worth.

The mind is so important when it comes to change.  If you don't change the mind it doesn't matter what you do in the physical world, as the mind will sabotage as soon as it gets the chance.  It's one of the reasons so many people lose weight and then gain it back.  The mind.  There are so many reasons people gain weight.  Some of it can be chemical/physiological.  Some of it can be mental, hardships, depression.  I've been pinpointing the points in my life that has caused insecurity.  False beliefs.  Fears I'm protecting myself from.  

There is one thing I'm going to do starting today.  I'm going to go without sugary treats for 90 days.  I've done it before, a few years ago, but I've been trying to do it again.  Each time I fail.  I need to retrain the way my body works.  Retrain my thinking in terms of conquering cravings.  Balance energy levels.  Detox.  But really I need something I can control.  Something that will give me strength in the doing.  

I've taken before pictures wearing a couple shirts that are too small.  Took measurements.  Weighed myself, and I'm just 5 pounds up from the start of the year.  I dug up incomplete fitbooks, so I'm going to complete them.  I got some cute paper and drew 90 circles, so I will be crossing them out as I go along.  

I'm tired of failing.  I'm tired of not accomplishing anything. 

So I begin again, and this time I will make it.  This time I will succeed.

"Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength." -- Arnold Schwarzenegger

 

July Health Goals: The Sticker Method

Ha! So I did something yesterday.  I threw away my scale.  It was hidden, I found it, weighed myself a few times (lost a pound and then gained it back), and then my scale went crazy: it decided to add random numbers to my current weight, so in the trash it went.  I don't need that mental drama.  The other scale is hidden very well, but hasn't been working right anyway, so it's dead to me.

What is the sticker method?  It's just a simple way to track goals.  Create a main goal, find a wall calendar, collect fun stickers, and everyday you're successful put a sticker on the calendar.  My favorite calendar is by Katie Daisy.  They're super adorable with lovely art.  It has to be a calendar that's not being used for keeping track of events, so that's valuable wall space if you're needing a calendar for said important dates.  I like using a planner for that, which Katie Daisy has also created, and they're even more adorable.  I love cute things.  Then in the corner of the date boxes you can add symbols for other goals, whatever they may be.

June ended up being a flip from May, where I was all over the place in the beginning of May and then got my act together by the end of the month, and then June started strong and ended in a mess.  My stickers represent days where I didn't have sweets, unless it was a nibble of chocolate or something.  Pre-selected treat days are symbolized by cute treat stickers.

Treat stickers are already placed for July.  Treats with a hint of red to go along with the cherry theme.

I could hang my head in shame and give up simply because I plateaued a whole month, but I won't.  On the plus side I didn't gain back the weight I lost in May, so that's good!  Nah, I did spend the last few days beating myself up for it, but I'm trying again on Monday after getting passed the Fourth and celebrating a family birthday.

So what are my goals?

1. Sticker everyday from Monday the 6th onward, because I may have had treats these last few days.  I'm human!  These things happen!  And it's my way of coping with the insanity in the World, plus it's a holiday and family birthday weekend, so it is what it is, but Monday I will focus.

2. Keep trying to get to bed before midnight. -_-;;  Heh, it will happen, and I will be consistent.

3. Walk three miles a day.  I did walk a total of 42 or so intentional miles last month, which is a little less than I planned.  Intentional miles are steps with purpose, above a half mile, no casual steps are allowed.

4.  Try out strength training with circular strength training bands.  Don't know what they're called, but resistant bands in a circle.  I got some off Amazon, so I'll blog about it next month.  I tried the HiiT workout, and my IC flared up a little, so I'm pulling back from that to reassess.  I haven't had bladder pain in a super long time, and I worked really, really hard to heal, so I just need to experiment to see if it was anxiety causing the slight pain, the exercise itself, or if it was all in my head due to fear.  I actually like doing high impact, I just have to make sure it won't make me sick and completely make me stop all together, so low impact stuff is all I can do for the time being.

And you know what?  I think that's good!!  Also, I should mention I've been intermittent fasting for the last couple months.  It's not a goal.  It's not something I was meaning to do, I just don't like breakfast, so I've been skipping it and only eating two meals a day.  Only twice has my hunger attacked, but it's been helping the way I feel.  No sugar sickness, as I call it.  Breakfast really is an annoying meal.  I really should have oatmeal in the morning, though.  Ah well, we'll see.

Later!
And good luck with everything you're trying to improve upon!

June Health Goals: Keep It Simple, Stupid

Heh, so....

I'm the stupid one, funny enough, because I'm always setting myself up for failure.  Though... I'm referring to myself as stupid in the most loving way possible.  So no self hate, just being a little light-hearted.

How did May turn out?  It is a tale of dramatic woe in three parts: One (having a hard time getting into the swing of things), two (wake up call followed by an overwhelming despair over whether I can change), and three (turning it around and getting my life in order).  From the start of the year I've gained eight pounds, which peaked in the middle of May.  After reviewing and changing a few things I've lost four pounds from that point.

Through the ups and downs I realized I need to get back to the basics.  I need to simplify things.  Forming habits right now is the most important.  Little steps.  Calorie burn numbers are irrelevant.  What is relevant is showing up each day.  Do the work.  Even if it's small it's the habit that counts, and the practice of doing a little something each day will show lasting, maintainable results.

One of my goals last month was to not weigh myself.  This goal was a major fail as I couldn't stop weighing myself.  It turned out to be a double edge sword as I stressed over the number, but it also alerted me that I was heading towards a danger zone.  My scales (I have two) are now out of my bathroom and have been hidden by a family member.  No more temptation.  It's now about focusing on accomplishing goals and working towards feeling better and overall health.  The scale isn't a proper representation of progress, anyway. 

So here are my goals this month, some repeat, some new:

1. Walk 2 miles a day.  Last month the goal was to walk a total of 100 miles.  Didn't happen.  It was overwhelming, and when I wasn't walking enough each day, this number quickly grew to be unattainable.  2 miles is the minimum, as there are days this month I've already walked 3, 5, and even 6 miles.  Thursday I wasn't feeling well and missed that day, but that's okay.  Just 2 miles a day which is 40 minutes of walking.  Totally attainable.

2. Strength train two times a week.  Technically three times a week would be fantastic, but this is all about baby steps.  This is all about habits.  So twice a week! 

3. Hiit (high intense interval training) twice a week.  There are so many methods on how to achieve this, but for myself I'm running/walking on a treadmill at various speeds.

4. In bed before midnight, which I'm still struggling with.  This is all about getting proper sleep and keeping cortisol at normal levels.  I kind of wonder if this is why so many people are gaining quarantine weight--stress and messed up sleeping patterns--causing cortisol levels to rise.  Better sleep is always good.

5. One sugar treat day a week.  (Though if I need a little chocolate is doesn't count against me, or a little coke if I have a migraine, which doesn't happen too often).

6. Keep a health log.  Just write all this stuff down and stay accountable.

That seems like a good list.  At the end of the month I'll take measurements, but won't weigh myself, which will be challenging.  But it can be done.  It will be done.  Focus on how I feel.

"In any case you mustn't confuse a single failure with a final defeat." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

May Health Challenge

Earlier last month I spent some time backing up my blog, didn't get too far, 2018 to be exact, but I noticed a pattern.  Many times I would write about this health goal, and that health goal, none of them completed.  That's not a good track record!!  And some of them were pretty good ideas.  Well, this year started strong and then went crazy, goals went out the window, and I joined the masses in gaining a little quarantine weight.  About five pounds.  But you know what?  I'm not being hard on myself at all about it.

This is a new month.  Can you believe it's already May!!??  Insane.  It's not unreasonable at all that, with new goals, I can lose those five pounds this month.  Head into June as I did into January.  And you know what, it's okay.

So here are my 4 goals:

1: Strength train 2-3 times a week.  There's a fitness app I found, for free, that has exercise routines.  It's Women Workout at Home - Female Fitness by Leap Fitness Group.  Pretty basic with beginning, intermediate, and advance exercises.  This month I'm focusing on beginner.

2: Walk a total of 100 miles this month.  Sounds crazy, but if you don't count Sundays that's about 4 miles a day.  About 20 minutes of walking is a mile at a moderate speed.  Not exact, but close enough.  There are pedometers and apps that can help keep track.  Don't know if I'm going to do 4 miles all at once each day or spread it out, but I'll play around with it.

3: No sugary treats with the exemption of two sweet treat days.  I've gone 3 whole months once with no sugar treats, so this is doable.  And I'm already down one whole day of no treats!  So 30 more to go.  (Though, to be honest, I found these little nut/chocolate snack packs at Trader Joe's, so if I'm having a down moment and need one, it won't count against this goal).

4. Try to be in bed before midnight.  Kinda developed a habit of staying up past midnight watching TV.  That's not good.

That's it.  These four things.  Well, a couple of them might seem a little crazy, but that's alright.  Tackling these four things will have a positive impact.  And I'm not going to weigh myself either until June 1st, and I'll report on June 2nd how it all went down.

Totally going to make this happen. 0_0 . . . :D

You Just Have to Start; Journey for Health

"It's in the doing, not just the thinking, that we accomplish our goals.  If we constantly put our goals off, we will never see them fulfilled." ~ Thomas S. Monson

And then there's this little gem.

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started.  The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one."

~ Mark Twain.

We're in the swing of New Years resolutions, goals, and other whatnot's.  Are you doing well?  Going strong?  Or have you already given up?  I'm doing okay.  I've switched my brain off from the idea of failure, and simply seeing them as missteps, but not a complete end.  Referring to a former blog post I still haven't weighed myself, and it is working wonders.  I'm focusing on non-scale victories, like how I did a Pilates workout yesterday morning and walked 3 miles.  I started drinking an old-fashioned Elderberry soda, just to see what it was like, but stopped drinking after a few sips even though it was interesting.  Little things.  I didn't fail yesterday for having a little soda.  I succeeded when I recognized my limit and stopped.

There's power in the little things.

The little changes.

If you've given up on your goals already, don't.  It's only the 7th of January!!  You can start again.  You can do it. :0)  And break your goal up if you need to.  If you're going strong that's awesome.  I'm learning to focus on each day.

When I was growing up my brother Michael used to say whenever something bad happened, "I'm having a bad day!!"  And my Mom would pause, look at him, and say, "No, you're having a bad moment.  The day isn't over."  And after awhile he started to say, "I'm having a bad moment."  (I should ask him if he still remembers that.)  But that created a lasting impression on my mind, one I wish I hearkened to more often.  Look at life in moments.  If you messed up or feel flustered in this moment, it's just a moment, and moments change.  You still have the rest of the day, week, month, year, etc.

So take steps.

Crawl if you must, that's okay.

And start.

A New Change of Mind; Journey for Health

So, back in October I gave myself a Holiday Health Challenge.  The goal was to not gain weight during the Holiday's and develop positive habits.  Walk 3-6 miles a day, strength train 2-3 times a week, go to bed before 11:00 pm, drink lots of water, increase fiber/magnesium, and have one treat day a week.  How successful was I?  Well, it's been an interesting journey.

I didn't accomplish per say what I wanted.  Towards the beginning I gained weight, more than I have in quite awhile, freaked out, got depressed, and then was able to lose that weight.  As of a couple weeks ago I weighed where I did last October.  Then I did something I should have done a long time ago.  I put the scale in the cabinet and haven't weighed myself since.  Around Christmas and these last few days I have had sweets, and I haven't a clue how it affected me.

Maybe this sounds reckless, but honestly it was needed, because I realized how much I was dependent on a number for self worth.  It goes up, I binge on sweets out of frustration.  I lose weight, and I eat sweets out of celebration.  Stupid, I know!  So stupid.  But, dang, it's my addiction, and one I will conquer.  How long will it take?  I don't know, honestly.  I've got ideas.  Plans.  But for now I'll keep those to myself.

Even though I didn't have the results these last few months I wanted, it was still good.  I learned a lot.  Verified that when I don't have sweets my heartburn and sugar swings stabilize.  I don't feel nauseous between meals.  And I've noticed that it's affecting my throat as well, which in turn is affecting my singing.   If I can't give up sugar for my weight, somehow giving it up for my singing is proving crazy motivating.  Sugar is just bad, period.  It's such a vicious cycle.

What it comes down to is this: I want to feel good.  Sugar, though nice in the moment, doesn't make me feel good in the long run.   Around Thanksgiving I gave up sugar for a few weeks, and comparing how that felt verses what I've felt these last few days, focusing on that and not a number on a scale, has been really positive.

What are my goals this year?  They will be ever developing.  I love the symbolism of the whole New Year, New Decade and all that, but in the end the only way to be successful is to start new goals and reevaluate as time goes along.  I complicate.  I try to do way too much right out of the gate.  So I'm letting that go.  I'm changing the way I think about things.  I'm changing the way I feel about myself, which is most important.

"Finish each day and be done with it.  You have done what you could.  Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can.  Tomorrow is a new day.  You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson