The Importance of Courage

"Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage." ~ Maya Angelou 

I wonder if we're all more courageous than we know.

Being a Gryffindor I feel like there's something wrong with me when I'm lacking courage towards an endeavor, habit, change of life, etc.  And lately, as in these last several years, I feel like I've lacked a great deal of courage.  I did overcome a chronic pain situation, which is no small feat.  And while I was dealing with this pain I helped take care of my Grandpa for 6 years, which was important, but it felt like life was paused during this time.  After his passing my Mom and I took every opportunity to travel.  That's coming to an end.  And now I'm just staring at life, regretting letting time pass like this.  Regretting that I didn't face my fears better.  Regretting that my once courageous soul feels dampened.

Last week I was listening to the Latter-day Saints channel, formally the Mormon Channel, and there was a round table discussion.  Can't remember all who were involved, but something they were talking about really stood out.  This one man said, "Faith takes courage.  You can't have faith without courage."  And I lay there thinking about this, thinking about my faith.  I struggle.  Not in my testimony, but in feeling like I fit somewhere in this World, feeling like there's a place for me, and in the church.  Maybe one day I'll write about what it's like being a mid-single in a church that's all about family, but it's hard, and so very lonely.  I know I need to go to the mid-singles ward, that it's where I need to be, but I've been battling it, ward hopping instead. (Ward hopping is when you attend church meetings that aren't your ward, a different one each week.) Every week I take the sacrament, but I've been having a hard time facing going to my ward on a consistent basis.  I have faith.  I haven't given up.  My testimony is still strong.  I'm just lacking faith in finding my place.

But I still have faith.  And faith takes courage.  And I've witnessed and experienced miracles.  Even in my struggle I feel God's patient hand in my life.  I just got to have more courage.

Maybe I'm being too hard on myself.  Maybe I'm using more courage than I realize.  By not giving up.  By not losing hope.  By going to Church, even though the ward isn't my own, but I'm still holding on and not turning away.

So that's what I need to cling to.

Each step takes courage, no matter what path you or I may be on.  Each movement forward, no matter how small or great, takes a brave heart.  And sometimes, even when you find yourself standing still, clinging to that spot and not slipping downwards takes a great deal of courage as well.  And if you find yourself slipping just stop, look around, regain your bearings, breath, and try again.  That takes an incredible amount of courage, one of which we all possess.

Don't be hard on yourself.  And I'll try to not be hard on myself as well. ;0)  We're all more courageous than we know.