Don't be Discouraged by Weakness

"We should not be discouraged or depressed by our shortcomings. No one is without weakness. As part of the divine plan, we are tested to see whether we master weakness or let weakness master us. Proper diagnosis is essential to proper treatment. The Lord gave us this remarkable assurance: "Because thou hast seen thy weakness thou shalt be made strong" (Ether 12:37). But wishing for strength won't make us strong. It takes faith and work to shore up a weakened cord of integrity."  ~ Russell M. Nelson, "Integrity of Heart", Ensign, August 1995.

I found this quote this last week and have been pondering it, though the bit I found was the first few sentences.  Just this morning the rest of this quote was discovered during an internet search, bringing more context.  Weakness is something I struggle with, since I'm constantly in a fight over what needs to be improved.  Past mistakes.  Time wasted.  Fear leading to missed opportunities.   Focusing on the wrong things.

Really, I've been looking at this all wrong, letting weakness master me, instead of mastering my weaknesses.  Honestly, I've never looked at weakness as a bad thing.  I remember having to write an essay in middle school, being asked if there was something about myself I would like to change.  I thought long and hard over it, and realized I wouldn't change anything.  What came to mind was my struggles in English, having to be taught to read in the 3rd grade and feeling so, so stupid.  Did I wish I was better at reading?  Do I wish this was something that wasn't difficult?

I persevered.  I was told it would take years to get up to grade level, and I didn't take this as a definite, as I worked hard and was up to grade level by the end of 4th grade.  I challenged my weakness and grew strong because of it.  If I was always good at reading this new strength would have never developed.  A building block of inner strength.  And then I thought about being bullied.  Being bullied over my faith.  Being bullied because in the past I made friends with a girl, being warned that if I did so they would make fun of me too, and becoming friends with her anyway.  In middle school did I wish to take away the times I was bullied?  And I realized I didn't want that, as the bullying built compassion towards others who are bullied.

My middle-grade self was so wise!!  (Where did I go wrong? :P )  I'm thinking of all my current weaknesses.  Again I'm facing a battle, though technically these battles never seem to end.  A different battle.  An inner battle that then, in turn, impresses upon the outer world.  I need to find my younger chutzpah.  We all have our mountains and hills, the rolling trials of life bringing new challenges and opportunities.  I am on a new mountain.  And as I climb I will master these obstacles.  (And suddenly I'm feeling a bit melodramatic, like I'm wearing a suit of armor, sword swinging, and I'm about to run off screaming.  You know, sometimes it really does feel like that.  Gotta make life a little more Epic).

Go fight your battles! Work hard, be honest, and don't be afraid.  Weak things can be made strong.