Last August I found this key while overlooking Mendenhall Glacier in Alaska. It was a rainy, misty day. Visibility low. As I looked down at the key I was amazed that someone would leave it there. Was it lost? I looked around and saw some gals to my right glancing over at me. Did they leave it? I picked up the key and read the worn paper: "Only you hold the key to your Bliss." Printed in beautiful cursive script. The other side reading www.Keys2Bliss.com #Keys2Bliss and #BlissfulVibes. The website is dead. The posts that tie to the hashtags are old. The crinkly paper suggests this key has traveled quite a bit in the last few years, if it is that old. I wish I knew where this treasure was been.
So where am I now? Sitting at home... thoughts swirling in my head as I try to find the words to write this post. I've been absent for a couple months, and as the heading to this entry suggest, many more months. Why? A change in the wind.
The podcast I was making with my brothers, Creator's Playbook, is no more. We haven't recorded the final episode. Haven't even talked about it, despite getting together several times. The decision was made at the end of last year, a few days before New Years Eve. There were several reasons. One was the freedom to pursue individual projects. The week before one of my brothers was talking about work, wanting time for his family, and with the podcast he had no time for writing. My other brothers have other projects and dreams as well. I never had access to the stats, but apparently we were averaging 30 listeners a week, half of which were us. That's after nearly a couple years doing the podcast. I'm thankful for everyone who took the time to listen. It just seemed now was the time to focus on individual things. I'm going to work on music and fiction. I have the hope we'll continue to work together, but this time apart will allow us to come back together stronger, with greater knowledge and experience.
That's why I'm not going to be back here blogging for quite awhile. I was numb that week that we decided to stop the podcast. I felt empty. Another weird thing happened that week, in accordance to travel. My Mom and I were going to visit Hawaii, Waikiki, January 6th. Fully paid. I was excited, but started getting this overwhelming feeling my Mom and I weren't supposed to go. My Mom was getting the same feeling, that we needed to cancel the trip. It made no sense. But during that last week in December we canceled the trip and got a refund. Well, the week we would have been on that trip my Mom and I got sick, and were sick for two weeks. Cough, head stuff, headaches, fatigue, loss of appetite, etc, and I lost my smell for a couple days. Would we have gotten sick on the trip if we had gone? No idea. But even now, thinking about it, I feel strongly we weren't supposed to go on that trip. Heh, Hawaii has now fallen through three times. I've never been. Well, it is what it is. I'm disappointed, but it's okay. I feel okay about it.
We got the refund for the canceled trip and went to Disneyland. Surprised? :P I did get another fortune from the Pirate hanging out in New Orleans Square: "I seen a thing er two at sea, I has, an' this be true. All hands afore the mast must take a ration o'initiative--there be no one to do it fer ye. Yer best interest be served by acceptin' responsibility. B'lay bein' wishy-washy. Speak up plucky on things ye truly believes in. Take a bearin' on the wonders o' this Magic Kingdom, then set yerself a proper course and sail it with dedicated effort, an' mark well me words: He who rides at anchor will ne'er put out to sea."
You know, that's a pretty wise Pirate.
So, I've spent these last two months just thinking about stuff. What do I want? What do I want to achieve? What do I want to grow to become? So many answers. Mainly, I'm a creative. I need to create. I need to perform. I need to sing. I need to write. It's going to take me a little time, though, because I'm going solo. Guess I really am Completely Indie. My brothers will help when I need it or get in a pickle, but I need to figure this stuff out. What do I need to learn? What programs? How long will it take me to do certain things? Get videos together? Get music together? And that's all besides the self publishing and short story competitions I want to enter. It's a lot, hence the 8 or so months.
So I'm going on a journey. "Only you hold the key to your Bliss." I'm traveling to find my bliss, and the bliss will come as I create and perform. It's all encompassing.
What will be will be. The future is uncertain, even so dreams aren't only for the young. We all should never stop dreaming, no matter how bleak, no matter the craziness threatening to consume.
Sarah.
P.S. My Mom has an online store selling Jewelry she's made. Angelinerobins.com
My Mom hasn't stopped dreaming, and she's been working very hard at this.
And finally, pictures of me visiting my favorite place last December: Cambria CA.
For those who have read my blog, thank you. I don't know when I'll come back, exactly, as this is a journey of discovery with many unknowns. No matter what happens or what I decide, I will be back no later then November to give an update of sorts. And as I leave, for a moment, here's my favorite quote I've shared many times before, because this wisdom is always needed:
that every day is the best day in the year.
He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day
who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in.
Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit
to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
This new day is too dear,
with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on the yesterdays."
