How I Became Mormon; My Testimony

Nobody is born Mormon.  Even if you're born into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, you're not born Mormon.  Though, as I type out Mormon, the word Mormon feels strange under my fingers.  We are called Mormons, and though I respect Mormon as an ancient American prophet who abridged the golden plates, no small task, this is not his Church.  I am not a follower of Mormon.  Nor am I a follower of Joseph Smith.  I'm a follower of Jesus Christ.  It is Christ who is the center of everything I believe.

Regardless, Mormon is the label we, who believe and follow the Doctrines of the LDS faith, are stamped with.  It's a name I'm attached with, and though born into the Church, it's a label I choose to wear.

Still, I wasn't born believing the Church is true.  That's a knowledge I had to seek and pray for.

Looking back on my life I can't remember a time when I didn't believe in God.  There's no defining moment that led me to realize God exist.  This is something I've always believed and have never had to question.  This faith lies deep in my spirit.  But believing the LDS church is true?  I didn't even know other churches existed until I was seven years old, and I didn't grow up in Utah.

It was the beginning of the second grade, the Summer of 1989, as we had year-around-school.  The day was hot, as hot as it typically gets in Porterville California, which is an hour north of Bakersfield.  I remember standing close to the fence which overlooked a big field, which lay next to the soon to be All American City Highway, which was next to the foothill mountains, the Sierra Nevada mountains blue in the distance.  I was to the south of the slide playground having a rather heated debate over religion.

One of my classmates, her face now blurred in memory, was countering everything I said.  This somewhat out of the ordinary conversation for a couple of seven year old's started when I mentioned how excited I was to be getting baptized.  "What is baptize?" She asked me, and I explained that it involved getting submerged in water.  "Our church doesn't do that!" She proclaimed, "You're wrong."

"I'm not wrong.  You get baptized when you're eight.  And then you get the gift of the Holy Ghost."

"My church doesn't do that.  You don't go to the right church!"

And we went back and forth, na na-na na na like.  "You're wrong" this and "You're wrong" that.  The Trinity was mentioned, and I brought up the Godhead, the idea that Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are all separate beings.  Naturally that started up a whole new debate.

When the recess bell rang I went back to the classroom somber, suddenly realizing there are other churches, and that these churches believe different things, and that they believe they're right and that they believe they attend the right church of Christ.  And then suddenly I realized, "What if my church is wrong?  What if I believe the wrong thing?" That line of thought then quickly turned into, "How can I get baptized when I could be joining the wrong Church?  And if I am being baptized into the right Church, am I ready for that commitment?" My mind spun round and round.  In my spirit I knew I could only get baptized if I was fully ready to make an Eternal commitment to Christ, and not fall back on my covenants.  At the time I didn't know "covenant" was the word that represented what I didn't want to break.  I didn't want to break my promise to God. I wanted always to follow him.

That three block walk home after school was a long one.  So distraught was my mind, full of questions and worries.  How was I going to tell my Mom that there are other churches and they feel they're right!?

When I did tell my Mom she was very patient, understanding, and bore her testimony with what she believed.  She then told me I had to seek out, ask questions, and form my own testimony, and that she would trust me no matter what I decide.  A lot of trust for a seven year old.  But baptism is no small thing.

In all those months leading up to my eighth birthday I struggled reading the Book of Mormon and the scriptures.  I was incredibly below average in my reading skills at the time, not getting up to grade level until the fourth grade.  Reading was a struggle, but I tried my best, and knew God would make up the rest.  It was around this time I stopped coloring during sacrament meeting and started listening to the talks.  If I can't fully read the scriptures I was going to listen, both in Sacrament meeting and Sunday School.  One time when we had the missionaries over for dinner they asked if anyone had any questions.  My Mom said, "Sarah has a question."

"How do I know the Church is true?"  They mentioned reading the scriptures and praying, but then they shared something that has stuck with me.  They talked about Christ time and that while he lived the church was perfect.  A mirror, fully formed, represented this.  After he died the mirror shattered into many pieces.  As time went on one truth was picked up by one group and they formed a church around that mirror piece, trying to fill in the gaps.  Another church was formed around another mirror piece or so, trying to fill in the gaps.  Another church was formed around another mirror piece, trying to fill in the gaps.  And so forth.  Each Christian church with different truths and beliefs, some the same, some different, all trying to recreate the mirror with their own pieces.  No church completely wrong, but no church completely right, because of the missing truths.

Then one day Joseph Smith asked the same question I asked.  What church is true?  They're all so different.  And the answer he received was to join none of them.  Over time Joseph Smith, through inspiration, guidance, and revelation was able to put the mirror back together with all the missing pieces: temples, prophets, ordinances, covenants, priesthood keys, gift of the Holy Ghost, modern revelation, personal revelation, as so forth.  All the mirror pieces joined together to form Christ's reflection.

I don't know at what point I realized the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is Christ's restored church on Earth, but I did realize it.  The process was slow.  Bit by bit.  And I said so many prayers.  But there came a point before I turned eight that I did know the Church was true.  I did believe Jesus Christ was my Savior and Redeemer.  I dis know Joseph Smith to be a prophet of God. And I know The Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ.

My testimony has only gotten stronger.

When I went for my interview with my Bishop to see of I was ready for baptism, I answered all his questions with confidence.  I knew.  And today I still know.

And I also knew it was never going to be easy becoming a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  That confrontation during recess my second grade year taught me that, and I knew instinctively I was agreeing to a life of persecution if I was baptized.  Porterville is a very religious community, at least when I was there, and anti-Mormons crossed my path regularly.  They tried to beat me down.  Shun me. But that only made me stronger.

I met good people, too.  One of my friends was a Methodist and I went on a trip with her church group to Magic Mountain.  They learned I was Mormon and didn't treat me bad.  You have no idea how much that meant to me.

Standing for what you believe is a lonely path, but being a follower of Christ was never meant to be easy.

My Grandpa R. gave me a set of scriptures when I was baptized, one book comprising the Old and New Testament, the second book containing The Book of Mormon, The Doctrine and Covenants, and The Pearl of Great Price.  On the inside flap he wrote: "To Sarah!  We love you!  And we present this Book of Mormon to you.  May you read it everyday.  It is the greatest book in the world!"

I treasure that inscription because of what it came to represent.  Around 2000 my Grandpa left the church.  It was a traumatic day on many fronts, especially for my Mom.

At one time, around 1990, he mailed out hundreds of Book of Mormons to those of our Scottish linage with a 4 generation genealogy chart and his testimony included.  I found one of these un-mailed Book of Mormon's in his Ventura home office when I was packing it almost two years ago.  I also found several folders containing correspondence he received from those he gave Book of Mormon's to, most of what I found was anti-Mormon literature.

In the last several years I've come to realize why he left the church.  I respect his agency.  I have to, as I'm a strong defender of agency.  Always have been, always will.

That inscription he wrote in my Book of Mormon is a reminder not to ever take my testimony for granted.  A reminder of how fragile testimonies are.

I do believe the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Christ's restored church during these last days.  I do believe Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer, the center of everything I believe, my everything.

I write these things in the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen.

My Testimony In Christ

 (A Painting of Christ with Children by Simon Dewey.  This sits on my keyboard.)

 I have a testimony in Christ.  He is my Savior and my Redeemer.  My Lord.  My God.  I believe and know that he was born of Mary over two Millennia past, in Bethlehem, and is the only begotten Son of our Father in Heaven.

He was a man without blemish, full of charity and love.  Jesus Christ healed the sick and the weary, helped blind men see, raised the dead, walked on water, and performed many miracles.  If all that wasn't enough, our Savior Jesus Christ was a great teacher, giving us beautiful parables and lessons, wisdom to lead us to him and to help us become more like him.

I know he suffered for my sins, for everyone's sins, so that we can become perfect in Christ.  Without him I am a being of great sin, with so many weaknesses and heartaches, but though him I am healed, able to return to our beautiful heavenly home.

Christ has given me the greatest gift, one in which I can never repay.  He knows this, and loves me still.  And so I give him the only gift I own: My agency.  Though imperfect, I strive everyday to follow Gods commandments and to serve him.  And even though I fail and make mistakes, it's through his atonement that I am forgiven.

Christ died so we can change.

 #BecauseHeLives

And even though he died for our sins, passing from mortality to immortality, Christ lives.

 As the first verse in the hymn by Samuel Medley reads:

"I know that my Redeemer lives.
What comfort this sweet sentence gives!
He lives, he lives, who once was dead.
He lives, my ever-living Head.
He lives to bless me with his love.
He lives to plead for me above.
He lives my hungry soul to feed.
He lives to bless in time of need."

Christ lives, our dear Redeemer lives.  And he loves us and is cognizant of us.  He's cognizant of me.  Watching over me.  Guiding me.  Answering my prayers.  And even though there are mortal trials and pains I must pass through, making me stronger, he is with me.

Happy Easter.

Today is so much more then bunnies and hard boiled eggs.

Let's never forgot that Christ lives.

(By DeseretNews.com)

Son of God: Movie Review

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 Stars

 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

~ John 3:16

In 2004, a decade ago if you believe it, The Passion of the Christ came to theaters.  Living in Utah, and being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, aka Mormon, I got caught up in the huge debate going on here.  That film centering on Christ is rated R, and many Latter-Day Saints choose not to see rated R films. A few of my friends have even chosen not to view PG-13 movies.  I haven't that strength!

It was a huge debate in my heart if I was going to see The Passion of the Christ.  Oh, I wrestled with it!  And one morning in Music Theory 101, my earphones cleverly (or deceitfully if you will) hidden under my hair, I listened to a local radio host as I worked through chord progressions on the chalk board. (I was the first to finish in the class, receiving 100%.  I'll never forget it :0)  The radio host was talking to a BYU professor about the film, discussing the subject matter and MPAA rating.  I believe they both ended up seeing the movie.

So after much ponder and prayer I went with my family opening weekend, the theater absolutely packed with young and old alike.  A quiet reverence resting in the theater as the end credits rolled.  Silence all the way home as we pondered what we had just experienced.  No one said anything for quite a while, which is rare for my family.  We typically love picking movies apart.

A couple months ago I started seeing the trailer for Son of God in theaters, with the MPAA: PG-13.  The movie looked promising, high quality, produced by Roma Downey and Mark Burnett, the same people behind the incredibly successful The Bible series on the History Channel last year.

Whereas in Passion of the Christ we view Christ's final 12 hours of life with the occasional flashback, in Son of God we follow Jesus Christ as if we were one of his disciples, watching him perform miracles and teach.  We watch Christ find a couple of the Apostles.  The scene where Matthew, a tax collector, is called to become one of Christ's 12 Apostles is particularly touching and tender.

That's one of the major differences between the two films.  Where in The Passion of the Christ the major conflict/opposition is Satan (the images created by this tension is haunting and powerful, particularly the scene where Christ carries his cross, Satan walking along step by step.)  In this latest film Son of God, Satan was left on the cutting room floor, literally, because the man who played Satan in The Bible and therefore Son of God looks similar to Obama, which created backlash and a negative dialogue last year, taking focus away from the beautiful scenes in The Bible.  Honestly I understand why the producers made this change.

Instead of the opposition of Satan we get a great view of the conflicts of the time: Pontius Pilate, his wife, the High Priest Caiaphas, and the Roman dominance in Israel.  Ironically, I guess, leaving out Satan in this regard helps us view the events in a more human way, though the war raging on the other side of the veil should never be forgotten.

Also, it was beautiful watching Mary Magdalene follow along as a disciple, participating as a witness to some of the miraculous events.

In terms of the violence in Son of God, it is tamed from The Passion of the Christ, though some of the scenes are still hard to watch.  The famous whipping scene from the former movie is what helped earn that film an R rating.  In Son of Got we see the whipping begin, pull away to only sounds, and then a cut.

The suffering and prayer of Christ in Gethsemane is glossed over, showing only a tiny bit, shifting quite a bit of focus to the scenes on the cross.  (It is in Gethsemane where Latter-Day Saints believe the atonement of Christ took place, his blood sacrifice, "and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground". Luke 22:43–44.  So I was saddened not to have seen more of the garden and that great trial.)  I am aware that the majority of Christians believe Christ's blood sacrifice was on the cross, and thus the long scene in the film and the reverence given therein.  For children watching in the theater it may be hard to watch Christ carry his cross, and then be hung.  A lot of the PG-13 elements in the film are in these moments.

I heard Roma Downey share a touching story in an interview with Hannity about the cross scene.  They hired someone to clear away scorpions and snakes as they shot scenes, usually clearing away one or two.  But on the morning when the production filmed the Crucifixion, 40 snakes circled the base of the cross.  What a striking moment of symbolism.

I will admit that when Jesus said, "I am the one, and only Son of God," I felt a little chill, though I know many believe it.  (I have a testimony that Christ is God's literal, Only Begotten Son in the flesh.  And I believe I am one of God's, our Heavenly Father's, spirit daughters.  But then I believe in a pre-mortality, where we all dwelt in Heaven as a family unit, with our Heavenly Parents before coming to Earth.  A Heavenly Father and Mother.  I am their daughter, in the spirit, as we are all God's children in the spirit.  But Christ is our Heavenly Father's Only Begotten Son in the Flesh.  Christ is God; One with the Father. I believe this with my whole heart.)

The Son of God is a beautiful film.  The ending absolutely touching.  I can't not cry when "Mary Did You Know?" is played.  This is a positive, touching film on Christ's life.

MPAA: Rated PG-13 for intense and bloody depiction of The Crucifixion, and for some sequences of violence.

I'd like to bare my testimony that I believe Christ is the Only Begotten Son of our Father in Heaven.  That Christ lived and still lives!  That he healed the sick, raised the dead, and walked on water.  And that through the atonement we can be healed and be forgiven of our sins.  Christ died so we can change.  The atonement isn't a one time only deal.  It's there for us whenever we need it, as many times as we need it, for none of us is perfect.  We all sin.  But thanks to Christ we have hope, and through his love and sacrifice we can live again with Jesus Christ and our Havenly Father.  Christ is the Word; The great I AM; Alpha and Omega; The beginning and the end; Jehovah; The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

I believe these things to be true.

I know these things are true.

My spirit, through the Holy Ghost, bares witness of Christ upon my heart.

I have always and will always love Christ, appreciate him, cherish him, and plead to have his spirit by my side.

My Testimony is Sure and Strong.

I will never doubt.

I say these things in the Name of Jesus Christ, Amen.