Keeping It Real With A Fortune Cookie: Message of Love

Okay, so this is a little silly.

And I debated whether to share this or not.

But it's kinda funny, so why not.

On my parents cedar chest sat a Panda Express wrapped fortune cookie.  It's been there for several weeks, possibly a couple months.  Every time I go in there I see it and wonder when will it finally be gone?  When will one of my parents give in and eat it?  Why haven't they eaten it?  Seriously, fortune cookies are fun.  But for weeks it just sat there.  I was never tempted to take it.

Anywho, this has been a hard week for me.  Just normal good week/bad week stuff.  This was an off week, and I've been watching a lot of Hallmark.  I think it's getting to me.  Heh.  Well, to be honest I started watching the movies with my Grandma when I would visit.  It's a fun thing we do now.  And I watch them at home.  With all the news I watch, because I'm a current events addict, Hallmark movies are a nice break.  Dependable.  Predictable.  Highly unrealistic.  Good corny fun. 

And I've stopped watching Days of our Lives, which my Mom, Aunt, and Grandma still watch and talk often about, so Hallmark is my new bonding entertainment.  (Though I've gotten into Ros na Rún, an Irish soap opera that can be viewed on the TG4 app.  The show has English subtitles.)

So, with my 37th birthday coming up, and with it being Spring, I've been melancholy over my singleness.  Like I said, Hallmark ain't helping. :P

When I went into my Mom's room yesterday, and she was chatting up a storm on the phone, I suddenly had the urge to eat the fortune cookie and see what it says.  She let me, and I opened it: "True Love is Worth Waiting For."

Yeah, it is.  Thank you fortune cookie for the much needed reminder.  No, seriously, I'm glad for the reminder.

With it being on my mind, I have been reading and doing self-improvement stuff.  I don't have a "list" for what I want in a guy.  Honestly, that's not fair for who ever might be involved one day, but there are qualities I'm looking for, and I can't expect what I'm not able to give.  So I'm working on bettering myself.  Becoming a better person.  Also, I don't expect perfection--obviously silly and not realistic--but at the same time I have to remind myself not to stress about becoming perfect.  Just gradually improve step by step.

I'm not going to give up on the idea of love.  And I'm not going to lose hope that one day I'll be a Mom.  Can't lose hope.  I know people who have lost hope.  I will not.

And though I don't believe in soul mates, I do want to believe in love.  Though I know love is an action word that takes a lot of work, but nothing worth having should be easy.

I didn't plan to write all this!  Yeah.

So: True Love is Worth Waiting For.

And as I wait, I will grow.

(Last night I mentioned the fortune cookie to my Mom again, and she laughed: "It's perfect!  There's a reason I couldn't eat it, it was meant for you."

Wishing for Love "Letters to Juliet" Style in Verona Italy, Juliet's house, Casa di Giulietta

Last weekend I visited Juliet's home in Verona Italy, from Romeo and Juliet fame, popularized by the movie "Letters to Juliet," a cute romantic movie perfect for Valentines Day, which this is.  Valentines Day!  Honestly, my least favorite holiday of the year, simply because it's kinda depressing being single on this day.  Okay, I know I need a better attitude and viewpoint, and as strong as I try to be each year, this day affects me regardless.

But last weekend I was in Verona.  Verona!  The city of love.  A place representing the love story of two teenagers so in love they die by the end of their own story.  Which is really sad.  And Juliet is obviously the person you should go to for love advice because, you know, a 14 year old girl who doesn't make it to 15, because, you know, love, is the perfect person to turn to when you're needing love advice.

But, Love!

Amore!

And I really wanted to see what this place was like in person.

Not quite what I was expecting.

 I visited Italy with my Mom, Dad, and Aunt with a tour, and the local guide only gave us 5 minutes at Juliet's House.  Not enough time to explore.

The first thing that struck me was the hallway, archway, leading into Juliet's court.  In the Letters to Juliet movie it's romantic, letters stuck between bricks as the Secretaries to Juliet pull them out.  In real life the letters litter the walls, stuck on with tape, gum, band-aids, etc.

 On the other wall is a canvas you can write on, placed there by www.julietlovesignatures.com.

 In the courtyard is a balcony, placed there in the early 1900's for tourist purposes, which has honestly worked.  And under the balcony is Juliet's statue where a waiting line forms for people who want to touch, being polite here, Juliet's breast for luck.  Our tour guide said she touched Juliet's breast and shortly after she met her husband.

You know, I can use all the luck I can get!!

Heh, so I touched her breast, felt absolutely ridiculous, and then smiled for a photo, making me feel even more ridiculous.

But I did it for love luck.

And as I left the courtyard I wrote on the wall, "This year I'll find Love!!!"

Not quite sure what I'm supposed to write to Juliet, but a confident declaration seemed like the best bet.

Now, does Juliet have secretaries as shown in the movie?  She does!  Members of the Juliet Club actually accept letters via snail mail, email, and left in a post box at Juliet's home, and they do write back!  So you don't have to actually visit Juliet's home to seek her love advice.

Happy Valentines Day, for those with love, and those of us still seeking.

Don't lose hope.

I haven't

The Power of Love

"Love is the only force that can erase the differences between people, that can bridge chasms of bitterness."

~ Gordon B. Hinckley, from And the Greatest of These is Love.

This is a nice Valentines quote.  Not all of us has a "true love" in our lives.  Whether you have a special someone or not, we can still all love.  :0)

Do Everything With Love

"...'What if our only motive were love? What if everything we did, we did out of love?'...We can even do good things with less than laudable motives.... Motives matter.... It's important to remember that we should not try to judge another's motives.  But we can judge our own motives.  We need to look inside and take stock.  Are we doing what we do out of love?  Or has some other motive taken over?" 

~ Russell T. Osguthorpe, March 2011

I found this quote yesterday while watching a video--Zandra Vraney: What If Our Only Motive Was Love?--and it hit straight to the heart.  There's definitely more I can do than I am doing currently, but when I do help others where is my focus? My motivation?  I hope it's pure.  But even I find myself going through the motions sometimes.  When it comes to helping my Grandpa, for instance, who is gradually getting worse, I help him sometimes out of obligation and routine instead of love.

Love is so important and motives do matter.

If we focus on love instead of something else, I think our mindset would change.  I think we would change, overall, for the better.  And I think, if there are things we need to do but struggle with, love would help.

Do all things with Love.

The Mysterious Man in the Purple Shirt: What is Love?

On October 9th, hanging out at LAX, my brother, sister-in-law, and I decided we desperately needed real food, after enduring that weird stuff on the plane.  I can't remember the name of the restaurant, but it had a lemonade theme, very California, and is in the Delta terminal.  I write this because of something that happened.  Something probably not worth mentioning, but it's actually been on my mind, and has me contemplating stuff.

When I was in line I first got the broccoli salad and some couscous something or other, and then I decided to get the Salmon.  (Insert here, the salmon is cold, but cooked, just to warn you.)  But it was taking forever for them to get me the salmon.  So I stood and stood while Michael and Krista moved ahead, bought their food, and went to sit down.  I was still waiting for the salmon.

After I got it and moved ahead, my eye caught a glimpse of the chocolate cake, and after spending a week in Japan finding difficulty eating stuff, the chocolate cake looked mighty good.

I passed it, and then turned around to get another look, deciding whether the cake was truly worth it.  But when I turned around I couldn't see it.  Someone was standing right behind me, close, blocking my view.  Some guy wearing a purple shirt, a button up dress shirt I believe, and instead I stared at the wall gathering my thoughts.  Mainly because I was shocked.  But also because of what I was feeling.

I felt that zing.  That something.  That feeling where you feel molecules move.  A feeling I haven't felt in a very, very long time.  And it surprised me.  And that made me nervous and self conscious.  So I stared ahead, afraid to look up.  I inquired then to the gal at the counter about the chocolate cake, saying something about we all needing a little cake in our lives, or something like that, and then she handed it to me and I faced the direction of the registers.

I couldn't look up to see who the guy was, so I decided I would walk up to the register and causally glance back, unassuming, and sneak a peak then.  But when I got to the counter and looked back, who ever it was was gone.

So it's a mystery.

 But, even though it's strange, I'm thankful.  Thankful because I haven't been next to a guy in a very long time and felt that.  I know this sounds kind of pathetic!  But you have to understand my circumstances.  When I moved to Utah I joined a singles ward, 19 with the average age around 27.  Then when I got to be 27 the singles ward I was then in became young, the average age around 22.  And now I'm in the mid-singles ward, and it seems like there's 3-4 girls to every guy.  I've given up on love.  I didn't realize how much I have truly given up on it.

And for a moment I felt hope.

And I hope now that I may feel it again.

So many girls my age have given up, but I know I can't.  Man it's painful, my chest hurts writing this, but I have to cling onto hope.  In this modern World so many girls have given up having a family for other pursuits.  But I feel there's nothing wrong with wanting a family.  Call me old fashioned, because I am.  Unashamedly so.

And then this all reminded me of something.  See, there's a lot of divorce in my extended family.  I have one aunt whose been married seven or so times.  And many of my cousins come from broken homes.  My Mom's parents divorced, at no fault of my Grandmother, when my Mom was 13.  I've learned so much from those around me.

But when I think of my Great Grandma and Great Grandpa, Granny and Gramps, theirs is the greatest love story I've even seen.  They celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary and more.  It was a special event.  There was a huge party.  And they deeply loved each other till the very end.

Then after my Gramps passed away I sat down and read his life story that he wrote out with his hand, and I read something that amazed me.  "I saw Welma again at the Sheridon store one night and later the neighborhood kids had a party at the store upstairs.  Still my heart didn't flip flop.  She was just one of the girls."  And that's how the greatest love story I've ever seen got started.  No flip flops.  And I listened to an interview my Mom and Grandma gave my Granny on cassette tape a few years ago.  She mentioned she didn't feel any pitter patter when she first saw my Gramps!  He was just one of the guys.

I sometimes think modern society gets love all wrong.  We think it's all about the flip flops and the pitter patters, but it's not.  Those come, but what makes a marriage successful involves so many things.  Marriage is complex, and yet simple.  Ups, downs, and the in between.

And once again one of the greatest lessons I've learned is thanks to my Great-grandparents.  I heard a lady asked once how she kept her marriage together, and she responded, "Back in my day when it was broke we fixed it."

We really need to learn from those who have come before.

The Most Romantic Sonnet Ever Written

Shakespeare's Sonnet 130

"My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun,
Coral is far more red, than her lips red,
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun:
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head:
I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks,
And in some perfumes is there more delight,
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know,
That music hath a far more pleasing sound:
I grant I never saw a goddess go,
My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.
And yet by heaven I think my love as rare,
As any she belied with false compare."

This gets me every time!

And though this may seem like a joke, and some critics have taken this sonnet to be a parody of the time, Shakespeare simply mocking other poets from his era, I side with others that claim Sonnet 130, though seemingly filled with insults, is overwhelmingly a compliment of the highest degree.

The key is found in the final couplet.

Don't we all deserve to be loved for who we truly are?  Don't we deserve to be truly seen?  No false pretenses.  Nothing erroneous.

True Love.

True Passion.

Fully in reality, aware of faults, but fully loved regardless.

That's what I want :0)

 

The Saddest Love Story Ever Told

This Valentines I present!

The Saddest Love Story Ever Told.

Snape X Lilly

 

Because unrequited love is the most painful.

"'I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said 'Journeys end in lovers meeting.' What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said 'love is blind'. Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space!" 

~ Iris from "The Holiday"

I full of all sorts of cheer this Valentines! :P