There are two things I should never do with this blog: 1. don't write when I'm feeling particularly cynical and 2. don't write when I'm really tired. I'm not feeling quite so cynical right now, but I'm tired, particularly because I've spent the last two hours picking out socks from Amazon to mail to the Hogwarts Running Club for the sock drive. Who knew how complicated socks could be? The other houses ( *cough* Slytherin *cough*) went with quantity over quality to win the drive. The Gryffindor's decided unanimously for quality. Makes me proud to be a Gryff. And so that led to two hours reading reviews and realizing Hanes and that Fruit brand just weren't going to do and it was worth paying more money for good reviewed socks that will last. It's all about pleasing Dobby, right?
So I'm sitting here, realizing I've slacked in my blogging, listening to David Archuleta, figuring I should write a little something. Should I be profound? Should I write something meaningful? Funny? I don't know.
Somehow, sitting here with little sleep I'm feeling this strange sense of peace. Maybe it's the quiet of the night? Maybe it's my half glazed eyes? But I think what I'm feeling is the fact that I believe I'm moving in the right direction again. I think we all get stuck. I've been stuck. Not because I want to be--who does?--but life does that. I've realized some things these last couple weeks. But I'm also starting to find my passion again.
I've spent many hours recently watching tutorials on Youtube and Master Classes. Mainly figuring out Cubase again, Omnisphere, etc. Trying not to get overwhelmed, though I've failed in this department. But something has started happening that I haven't experienced in a very, very long time: I'm starting to hear music again. In college I used to hear music all the time, mainly orchestral bits, as I walked and studied. But somehow in the last few years I've stopped hearing the music. I'm not talking about getting a popular song stuck in your heard. That never stopped. Original tunes bouncing around in my head, coming and going from who knows where. And last week as I was watching tutorials while organizing my projects and resetting goals I've started hearing music again, and it's really quite joyous.
I still feel like I'm walking through a tunnel, but I'm seeing the light. Feeling it.
The future can sure be daunting, and I've spent so much time trapped by worry, but as cliched as it sounds, there is light at the end of the tunnel. You just got to hold tight, don't give up, don't stop. And as the wise Dumbledore once said, "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
It's after 2 a.m. I really do need to sleep.
Really, never lose hope. Just don't. Hold strong. It's strange, in moments when we feel weak I bet we'd be surprised by how strong we really are. Holding on makes you strong. Not giving up makes you strong. Trying again makes you strong.
Stay strong.
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