Why I Stopped Writing Movie Reviews

Watching movies, going to the movies, and visual forms of storytelling is something I will always enjoy.

The way I view movies have completely changed since I started writing movie reviews many years ago. Instead of pure enjoyment, the experience became completely critical, analyzing everything, taking apart scenes, picking out the little things. Whereas before I could ignore and overlook, that option became unavailable. Now I had to remember, revisit mentality things I may not have liked.

I would see movies I really wasn't interested in, had a gut feeling, and the intuition proved correct, though I was out the several dollars and time for obligations sake.

Then there's the moral dilemma I faced: Not wanting to write mean things online. It's one thing to talk about a movie, analyze it to its bones in private amongst friends and family, but once you put it online anyone can see, even those you are writing about. That unnerved me. Praising and positivity was no worry, but when there was something I wasn't happy about in a film I struggled with the mention.

There were times I didn't like an actor in a role, or didn't like artistic choices, and stayed silent. And I don't like how movies have become so political with woke stuff, things I don't appreciate due to the divide it causes, but out of respect for differing opinions and beliefs I won't talk on such things. And I honestly believe wokism has stifled good storytelling, agenda over character growth or good plot development. It's so prevalent now that ignoring is impossible.

There's a fine line between how much I can reveal so there's stuff to talk about versus spoilers. This was a balance I never could quite figure out. Either I didn't reveal just enough that my review felt shallow, or revealed too much that I may have ruined the movie.

Then there's other little things like cost, time, etc. Right before the pandemic and lock downs I was seriously considering starting an exclusive movie review blog on WordPress with the possibility of starting a companion YouTube channel. Looked into the costs, started working on names and so on, then the lock downes started and theaters closed. I could have moved to reviewing streamed content, but I decided against it. 

When it came down to it I realized the commitment, the time that it would take away from other projects, and realized I really didn't want to persue movie reviews outside of the hobby.

I'm glad for the reviews I did do. I learned a lot, and the critical thinking skills I've developed in the process will help me when breaking down and developing my own creative works.

I'll always enjoy the movies. I'll always enjoy stories.  Now I'm focusing on the fun.

(Heh, though I seem unable to turn off the deep analysis, so that won't change... :P I love debating movies after leaving the theater).

Sarah

The Latest Ancestry DNA Update is Weird

Ancestry DNA recently updated their results, predictions, etc, which means I'm a new breed of something or other that I wasn't yesterday.

First of all I lost the small bit of German DNA that I have, my last name being of Rhineland Prussia roots, Americanized around the Revolutionary War. I've gone from 1% to 2% Welsh. And I've gone up quite a bit in Scottish DNA, nearly balancing England, Ireland, and Scotland.

But This is what's weird, and why I'm not so trusting of this latest calculation: My Grandparents results vs my Mom and Aunt.

My Grandpa R is 4% Welsh and my Grandma A is 2% Welsh. My Mom's results were 10% Welsh whereas my Aunt is 4% Welsh.

My Grandpa R is 3% Scottish whereas my Grandma A is 8% Scottish. My Mom's results were 0% Scottish (nothing!) whereas my Aunt is 16% Scottish.  

My Mom's not happy that for the first time Scotland isn't showing up at all with her results, and I think there's a mistake there.  My Dad is 38% Scottish.

Further proving what an imperfect science all this DNA region testing is.  The app has taken away the ability to see percentage ranges for each ethnicity.

It's all fun, and there's some truth in the data, but it's not to be taken quite literally.

A map of my heritage and the second is my communities, though I also belong to "Munster Ireland" and "Arkansas, Oklahoma & Texas Settles", which are not pictured.

Iron Chef, LEGO's, and Games

I finally downloaded Pluto TV.  Late to the party!!  Known about it for awhile, but I didn't know it was free.  The service works like you're watching live TV, with commercials, and there's some stuff on demand.  And oh my goodness, I'm having so much fun with the streams!  There's so much.

One of the channels is nothing but classic Iron Chef, which brings back so many memories.  Another channel is nothing but Stargate, which is such a great show with interesting spinoffs. There's a history channel that actually shows history shows and not reality stuff.  Music video channels.  A bunch of Spanish stuff.  A nature scenes channel that's so relaxing.  Watched a little Love Boat.  And my favorites are BBC Home and BBC Food.

So the kiddos have been spending a lot of time over here due to home renovations and cleaning up black mold (sadly proving to be a huge problem), so we've been having a lot of fun.  I introduced them to Iron Chef... which didn't go as plan!  Oh, they watched one episode because they knew it was important to me.  On another day I asked my oldest niece if she wanted to see Iron Chef again, and she said it was kinda weird. :\ So we watched Escape to the Country instead.  Heh, *sigh*.

But one of the reasons they didn't want to watch more Iron Chef is because they wanted to watch more LEGO Masters, or whatever the show is called, over on Hulu.  Actually, that show is pretty fun.  Highly recommend.  We finally finished the first season, and the winning build was so epic.  We all wanted that one to win and cheered.  There's a new show called Domino Masters, which is fun as well, but the kids don't like watching the first half, so we fast forward to the topples.  The best part.

So, yeah, if you haven't checked out Pluto TV I highly recommend it.  You don't have to sign up or anything.  I showed it to Robbie the other night, and he was excited that there was a Yu-Gi-Oh Spanish channel.  

The kids know there's a second season of LEGO Masters, but we're taking a break to play games.  Played Dice Forge and taught Yukon Airways.  I was worried about the Yukon game, because it's a little complicated, but they liked it.  Though, apart of it is because we played with my Dad, and he kept making jokes, so they giggled a lot.  Honestly, that's what board gaming is all about.  Had some good conversations with two of my nieces while we played the first game.  Got to hear all about their crushes, which was amusing.  One niece launched into the probability by percentage of her chance of marrying one crush verses another.  That was precious.

Board gaming is such a fun hobby.

Sarah

 

Easter and Wingspan

"When the focus of our lives is on Jesus Christ and His gospel, we can feel joy regardless of what is happening--or not happening-- in our lives." Russell M. Nelson

This has been a beautiful Easter day, and I hope it's been wonderful for everyone.

I've been playing around with Wingspan a little.  It's a board game about collecting birds and eggs.  Perfect for Easter!  The eggs are so tiny and cute, and if you upgrade to the speckled eggs they're even cuter.  There's an app called "Wingsong" that makes the game even more enjoyable.  Super basic and easy to use, as its only function is to recognize cards and play their birdsong.  So cool.  I'm going to try and figure out solo mode in a little bit, so hopefully the automa won't be too hard to manage.

Lately I've been binging a YouTuber called HealthyGamerGG.  He's a psychologist.  As usual I don't agree with everything, and I don't like the swearing, but he does drop truth bombs and gives good advice.  I was just watching a video and he said that we "gain confidence through failure."  I'm so going to ponder and implement that.  And he also talks about being careful with future thinking, heh, yeah... something I need to work on.  Future thinking is okay, it just has a habit of causing problems when overused and taken to extremes. Heh... :\

Anywho, still many hours left in the day,

Have a good one,

Sarah

Disneyland Paris, 30 Years Later

I'm sitting comfortably at home as I type this on my phone, single finger as I've never learned how to properly do this. 

There's a tiny reduced box, a video live stream off of YouTube, WDW News Today. Tom is with his wife, and they've been doing live streams for the last few days at Disneyland Paris. The video is blurry, only clear in spurts, but it doesn't matter. It's bringing back memories. Right now he's in line for Pirates of the Caribbean.

When Disneyland Paris opened 30 years ago it was called Euro Disney, and I got to visit right when it opened. I was in the 5th grade, and for dance that year our studio was performing Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. My class was selected to be the dwarfs, and I was Doc due to type casting. :P So I was extra geeking out when visiting Euro Disney.

In 2016 I got to return again, only for the day. My one regret was not doing the park hopper to ride Ratatouille in the second park. Why!!?? Oh, I don't know. A momentary lack of judgment. 0_0

Anywho, I'm just laughing. Tom is one of the people I love watching for Disney news, and his subtle sly (slightly sarcastic) sense of humor is fantastic.

Fun fact! On the Pirates ride they actually take your picture during one of the drops. We bought it last time, and I haven't a clue where it ended up. Such is life. 

(He's on the ride, and it's too dark to see anything. Loving the sounds... gah. And now it's buffering.)

Visiting the Paris park when I was a kid is one of my favorite memories. I would love to return again. We were supposed to visit Tata Patou, my Mom's old friend who lives there, in June, but we've put it off. The future is so unpredictable, we plan and hope for the best, but everything's crazy. Gotta keep living and praying. (I saw the videos out of Shanghai yesterday, and they're heart wrenching horror.)

I'm clinging to the good times, remembering the sweet things in life. I'm not losing hope for the future. I'm fully aware of the World, as much as possible. I have a "live in the future" mind that likes to predict worse case scenarios.

But even so, I'm hopeful. And I think it's good to have plans and have things to look forward to. Some things work out, some things don't, but we've got to keep living.

Sarah

The Fickleness of Spring

This meme was making it's way online amongst my friends, and I had a good chuckle over it.  It snowed a little these last couple days, which is weather's gift this time of year.  Spring in Utah, and for many places, is just the strangest phenomenon!  Well, growing up in California I was a little spoiled.  The "four seasons" are more predictable.  But here, it will be 70 degrees one day and then 30 degrees the next.  Life's not boring.

Though, thanks to the snow, I saw a news report that farmers were worried over their orchards, as trees have started blossoming.  Hopefully this cold front hasn't damaged crops.  Growing up in Porterville CA, which is an agriculture town (technically a city) is surrounded by orange tress, there was a winter where the temperature got below freezing, and a lot of those in the city rushed to the fields to help protect the trees.  This was in the early 90's, and thanks to that event, according to local lore, we earned the prestigious "All American City" award.  It was kind of a big deal.  The South segment of Route 65 was renamed the All American City Highway. 

Off topic! :P

It's cold.  I'm so ready for... a nice warm spring.  Not so excited for blazing hot Summer temperatures! I'll take a little snow.

And, for the record, many years ago it snowed in June.  It was a light snow, didn't stick, but we still had snow!  April snow isn't weird, I think we're all done with it. Heh. 

Sarah

 

The Definition of Insanity...

Is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result...

Or so they say.

My mind is full of these thoughts. Images of that SpongeBob gif waving his hands with the words "Nobody Cares" forming above his head. "If you build it, they will come" being the biggest lie I was told when I was a kid.

If I spend months working on these projects, writing and music, will anyone care? Months building my voice back and recording songs, will anyone want to listen? I don't know, and my heart is in pain over the notion of wasted time over foolish dreams.

"Nobody Cares," like flashing neon lights blinking in mockery.

So why do it? Why try? Why create? 

Maybe I am insane.

So what does it come down to? Why move foreward and give this another go? Because I need to see if I can do this? I don't want to quit. I want to create something I truly see as good, even if no one cares. I need to know.

I need to sculpt, chipping away at marble to see what lives underneath. Songs that move the heart. Stories that make kids laugh.

The creative process is such a lonely affair.

Maybe nobody cares. Maybe no one will ever care. But I care, because my soul needs to feel. My soul needs to sing.

There I find joy and peace.

God Showing Love in Silly Ways

 

A Few months ago the most unexpected thing happened: My Mom got addicted to a K-Drama.  K stands for Korean, and they are really quite popular, though I've only seen a couple.  Hulu was offering a great deal, a dollar a month for a year, and I signed right up.

A few nights later I left the app open on the TV for my Mom and went to bed... Heh, well, I woke up around 2 am and she was watching Boys Over Flowers!!  A Korean drama that came out in 2009 based on a Japanese manga/comic.  Went back to bed, woke up at 6:30, and she was still watching it!  I told her to go to bed, which she begrudgingly agreed to do. :P

And this is the kicker... she was watching the show without English subtitles!!! Enjoying the whole thing.  Then proceeding to give me a crazy rundown of everything that had happened to that point. Really, what she was picking up without understanding the language was really quite impressive. It wasn't until episode 13 I figured out how to get the subtitles working. 

Since then my Mom has watched the show countless times, watches interviews on YouTube, listens to the music on loop (0_0), and is now working on her very first fan fiction, which she is so excited about.  This is her first writing project, and she wanted to do something fun, and for the last couple weeks she has been spending hours creating new characters, mapping everything out in note pads and sticky notes, and is about to start the actual writing.  She is just so giddy about it, and my Mom gets super cute when she's excited.

So what does all this have to do with the topic at hand?  God showing his love and all that? 

Well, my Mom has also been working on jewelry and got a booth in a store.  She got it all set up last weekend, but it wasn't until a few days ago she came running to the car all excited.  It was her booth number!  F-4.  Seems simple enough, but in the Boys Over Flowers world F-4 is a pretty big deal.  It's the name of the group of guys on the show.  F standing for flower.  Everywhere on the shows girls are like, "It's the F-4!!" *Swoon*.  

Maybe it's coincidence.  Just a chance thing.  But you know what, I want to live in a world of Miracles.  We do live in a world where miracles still happen.

I think we'd be amazed at how many miracles we truly experience, only we're so busy reasoning them away we fail to notice.  I want to notice and be thankful.  And I think my Mom's jewelry booth being F-4 is a signature from Heaven, God giving a little smile.

Here's some more pictures of the booth with my Mom, Steven and Ty, who have been working on the website and helping to get everything set up.

Maybe I Shouldn't Stay Away from this Blog

So many thoughts.

I was determined to stay away from writing anything on here, but it's growing quite difficult. All these words circling my brain, begging a more permanent form. I've kept this blog for 10 years, highs and lows all over, but this blog has remained consistent.

When it comes to my creative efforts those do need time. I'm currently working through the basics and building from there, creating a solid foundation in the process. There's a bunch of doubts and nerves and other silly whatnot's attacking me as I push through false perceptions, but I'm pushing, fighting with sword in hand. Swords are cool, by the way. ;0)

But I don't know what to do with this blog! I love to write. I like putting words together while formulating thoughts and ideas. I was getting anxiety blogging, which is why I needed this break, wanting a longer break, but old established habits die hard.

Honestly, I don't know what to say in terms of how often I'll write. Maybe I shouldn't make grand declarations. Just go with the flow. Figure this out as I continue to figure my life out.

And with that said, I don't know who will see this, or if anyone will. I'm not going to link these posts to my social media accounts, as I did in the past. Social media is something I really don't get nor wish to understand. It's a little crazy. 0_0

I'm just hanging out in this little nook on the internet sharing eclectic whatevers, hoping everyone is doing okay, being brave in this ever changing world.

Whoever you are, you are important and loved.

Sarah

(P.S. a lot of my blogs going forward for a time will be written on the blogger app, which is super difficult to use and doesn't have spell check. So I'm apologizing in advance.)

I'll be Back in 8 or so Months...

Last August I found this key while overlooking Mendenhall Glacier in Alaska.  It was a rainy, misty day.  Visibility low. As I looked down at the key I was amazed that someone would leave it there. Was it lost?  I looked around and saw some gals to my right glancing over at me.  Did they leave it?  I picked up the key and read the worn paper: "Only you hold the key to your Bliss." Printed in beautiful cursive script.  The other side reading www.Keys2Bliss.com #Keys2Bliss and #BlissfulVibes. The website is dead.  The posts that tie to the hashtags are old.  The crinkly paper suggests this key has traveled quite a bit in the last few years, if it is that old.  I wish I knew where this treasure was been.

So where am I now?  Sitting at home... thoughts swirling in my head as I try to find the words to write this post.  I've been absent for a couple months, and as the heading to this entry suggest, many more months.  Why?  A change in the wind.

The podcast I was making with my brothers, Creator's Playbook, is no more.  We haven't recorded the final episode.  Haven't even talked about it, despite getting together several times.  The decision was made at the end of last year, a few days before New Years Eve.  There were several reasons.  One was the freedom to pursue individual projects.  The week before one of my brothers was talking about work, wanting time for his family, and with the podcast he had no time for writing.  My other brothers have other projects and dreams as well.  I never had access to the stats, but apparently we were averaging 30 listeners a week, half of which were us.  That's after nearly a couple years doing the podcast.  I'm thankful for everyone who took the time to listen.  It just seemed now was the time to focus on individual things. I'm going to work on music and fiction. I have the hope we'll continue to work together, but this time apart will allow us to come back together stronger, with greater knowledge and experience.

That's why I'm not going to be back here blogging for quite awhile.  I was numb that week that we decided to stop the podcast.  I felt empty.  Another weird thing happened that week, in accordance to travel. My Mom and I were going to visit Hawaii, Waikiki, January 6th.  Fully paid.  I was excited, but started getting this overwhelming feeling my Mom and I weren't supposed to go.  My Mom was getting the same feeling, that we needed to cancel the trip.  It made no sense.  But during that last week in December we canceled the trip and got a refund.  Well, the week we would have been on that trip my Mom and I got sick, and were sick for two weeks.  Cough, head stuff, headaches, fatigue, loss of appetite, etc, and I lost my smell for a couple days.  Would we have gotten sick on the trip if we had gone?  No idea.  But even now, thinking about it, I feel strongly we weren't supposed to go on that trip.  Heh, Hawaii has now fallen through three times.  I've never been. Well, it is what it is.  I'm disappointed, but it's okay.  I feel okay about it.  

We got the refund for the canceled trip and went to Disneyland.  Surprised? :P  I did get another fortune from the Pirate hanging out in New Orleans Square: "I seen a thing er two at sea, I has, an' this be true. All hands afore the mast must take a ration o'initiative--there be no one to do it fer ye. Yer best interest be served by acceptin' responsibility.  B'lay bein' wishy-washy. Speak up plucky on things ye truly believes in. Take a bearin' on the wonders o' this Magic Kingdom, then set yerself a proper course and sail it with dedicated effort, an' mark well me words: He who rides at anchor will ne'er put out to sea."

You know, that's a pretty wise Pirate.

So, I've spent these last two months just thinking about stuff. What do I want? What do I want to achieve? What do I want to grow to become? So many answers.  Mainly, I'm a creative.  I need to create.  I need to perform.  I need to sing.  I need to write.  It's going to take me a little time, though, because I'm going solo.  Guess I really am Completely Indie.  My brothers will help when I need it or get in a pickle, but I need to figure this stuff out.  What do I need to learn? What programs? How long will it take me to do certain things? Get videos together? Get music together? And that's all besides the self publishing and short story competitions I want to enter.  It's a lot, hence the 8 or so months.  

So I'm going on a journey.  "Only you hold the key to your Bliss."  I'm traveling to find my bliss, and the bliss will come as I create and perform.  It's all encompassing.

What will be will be.  The future is uncertain, even so dreams aren't only for the young.  We all should never stop dreaming, no matter how bleak, no matter the craziness threatening to consume.  

Sarah.

P.S. My Mom has an online store selling Jewelry she's made.  Angelinerobins.com

My Mom hasn't stopped dreaming, and she's been working very hard at this.

And finally, pictures of me visiting my favorite place last December: Cambria CA.

For those who have read my blog, thank you.  I don't know when I'll come back, exactly, as this is a journey of discovery with many unknowns.  No matter what happens or what I decide, I will be back no later then November to give an update of sorts.  And as I leave, for a moment, here's my favorite quote I've shared many times before, because this wisdom is always needed:

"Write it on your heart
that every day is the best day in the year.
He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day
who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.

Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in.
Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit
to be cumbered with your old nonsense.

This new day is too dear,
with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on the yesterdays."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson