Okay, so this is a little silly.
And I debated whether to share this or not.
But it's kinda funny, so why not.
On my parents cedar chest sat a Panda Express wrapped fortune cookie. It's been there for several weeks, possibly a couple months. Every time I go in there I see it and wonder when will it finally be gone? When will one of my parents give in and eat it? Why haven't they eaten it? Seriously, fortune cookies are fun. But for weeks it just sat there. I was never tempted to take it.
Anywho, this has been a hard week for me. Just normal good week/bad week stuff. This was an off week, and I've been watching a lot of Hallmark. I think it's getting to me. Heh. Well, to be honest I started watching the movies with my Grandma when I would visit. It's a fun thing we do now. And I watch them at home. With all the news I watch, because I'm a current events addict, Hallmark movies are a nice break. Dependable. Predictable. Highly unrealistic. Good corny fun.
And I've stopped watching Days of our Lives, which my Mom, Aunt, and Grandma still watch and talk often about, so Hallmark is my new bonding entertainment. (Though I've gotten into Ros na Rún, an Irish soap opera that can be viewed on the TG4 app. The show has English subtitles.)
So, with my 37th birthday coming up, and with it being Spring, I've been melancholy over my singleness. Like I said, Hallmark ain't helping. :P
When I went into my Mom's room yesterday, and she was chatting up a storm on the phone, I suddenly had the urge to eat the fortune cookie and see what it says. She let me, and I opened it: "True Love is Worth Waiting For."
Yeah, it is. Thank you fortune cookie for the much needed reminder. No, seriously, I'm glad for the reminder.
With it being on my mind, I have been reading and doing self-improvement stuff. I don't have a "list" for what I want in a guy. Honestly, that's not fair for who ever might be involved one day, but there are qualities I'm looking for, and I can't expect what I'm not able to give. So I'm working on bettering myself. Becoming a better person. Also, I don't expect perfection--obviously silly and not realistic--but at the same time I have to remind myself not to stress about becoming perfect. Just gradually improve step by step.
I'm not going to give up on the idea of love. And I'm not going to lose hope that one day I'll be a Mom. Can't lose hope. I know people who have lost hope. I will not.
And though I don't believe in soul mates, I do want to believe in love. Though I know love is an action word that takes a lot of work, but nothing worth having should be easy.
I didn't plan to write all this! Yeah.
So: True Love is Worth Waiting For.
And as I wait, I will grow.
(Last night I mentioned the fortune cookie to my Mom again, and she laughed: "It's perfect! There's a reason I couldn't eat it, it was meant for you."
